Last updated on September 15, 2020
I’m 14 years old. I have been reading about the problems and war going on in Isreal lately and how a lot of Christians think that the end times are incredibly near. I would agree with them, but I’m scared to because as about three years ago I became a true Christian, as I accepted Christ into my heart. But for the past few years as my body was changing. I would and still masturbate to pornography on a daily basis. I couldn’t and can’t stop. I have asked countless times for forgiveness and for God to forgive me and to help me stop my “secret sin”. No one knows I did and do this.
I also go to public schooling and therefore I am around obscenely dressed girls and swearing all the time it has caused me to curse and lust for them. My pastor has said before in a message “If your eye causes you to sin pluck it out from you.” And he said that he had the same problem with the Internet. He said he told his dad and his dad broke the Internet box (router). The problem with those things is that I can’t just break an Internet box or pluck my eyes out. (Yes, I understand it is a metaphor).
At this point in life, I am addicted and feel as if nothing can save me from this. I understand that it is Satan because he is the master of lies. I need help, please. I fear the rapture and being left behind. I know that Jesus forgives if you have accepted him into your heart and ask for forgiveness, but I feel guilt and like I am weak. I enjoy going to church; in fact, it is the best part of my week. But I have become a lazy Christian (a backslider). Please give me some help and advice on how to beat my sin.
I’m glad to hear that you’ve started on the road to becoming a Christian. Typically what I hear from those in various denominations is that they do some of what God requires, but not all. I would like you to read through What Must I Do to be Saved? and What Saves a Person? While you misunderstand what the Bible teaches about Christ’s return, you are correct that problems can’t be left to fester. They need to be addressed because they’ll only get worse. If you would like to learn more about the Second Coming, see An Overview of Premillennial Theories.
In regards to pornography, I would like you to read a prior answer that I think covers the issues you raised. See How do I break this sin of looking at porn? What I want you to do is focus on not using pornography when you masturbate. The trap you’ve gotten into is believing that you have to see porn in order to ejaculate. By seeing that you can ejaculate without porn, you’ll be in a better position to resist the temptation. Once that problem is addressed, then we can talk about how to deal with lust and temptation.
Yes, I would like you to keep in touch. I realize that these things won’t answer all your questions and might just raise new ones. But first, it is important to learn the general concepts.