I’m worried that I might be gay or bisexual

Last updated on October 8, 2020



I am 13 years old and worried that I might be gay or bisexual, but I want to become straight. I had no actual sexual relations with not male or female. I had a few dreams replacing women with men but very rarely — once or twice, if that, a year. I find women attractive too. No matter what I think I’m always going to choose women. I do have thoughts about men. I’m wondering if maybe I feel this way because I’m jealous of other people’s bodies, or because I never even had a first kiss. I have been in one relationship but it lasted only a day. Nothing happened, so I’m wondering if maybe since I don’t know what either gender is like, then maybe I’m just curious and will grow out of it.

What are your thoughts?


You are neither a homosexual nor a bisexual. Homosexuality means you have sex with other men. Bisexual means you have sex with both men and women. However, you have not had sex, so to label yourself is inaccurate. I know it is popular these days to use feelings to decide who you are, but feelings change constantly.

Most of this will settle down as you grow older. Right now everything is too new and up in the air. It is one reason that sex is supposed to wait until marriage, and it is also why even in the secular governments there are laws protecting kids from sex until they are at least older teens.

Instead of questioning yourself and trying to talk yourself into sin, accept the fact that you are male and that one day you’ll marry a wonderful woman, and have a great family.


I deeply plan on waiting until marriage and finding the right woman. I’m just worried that the thoughts I have might send me to hell. The Lord loves us all and wishes all of us to live with him but, as we all know, not everyone can do that. As I said, I’m just worried. I love Jesus and that is why I’m scared because I want to live with him. I want to be a church person.

Sorry for getting off-topic, but I thought this was the last place I could go to. As I said, I plan to find the right woman for me. In fact, I may have, but obviously, sex and stuff like that will wait until after marriage.

Anyway, thank you for the quick reply. God bless!


Thoughts are nothing more than temptations unless you dwell on them and try to justify sin in your mind. Temptations are not wrong. Even Jesus was tempted. You can’t be tempted if Satan can’t get you to think about sin.

It isn’t off-topic. I keep this site for the purpose of encouraging young men to live for Christ. Any time you have a question or concern, you are welcome to write.


Thank you very much! The devil is always trying to get to me. The Lord made it possible for me to throw the devil away!