Is it bad that I can’t wait to get married?

Last updated on September 24, 2020


Dear Jeff,

I have been finding myself talking to God on late nights like around 3 or 4 AM. I particularly have this thought of being married one day. I can’t wait to be honest. It gets so lonesome at times. I don’t get out much, sadly.

I know, God has told me to wait. The thing is that I can picture it. I want to have a family. A daughter and a son. And my wife will be a fabulous one with a loving and gentle heart. But I know that seems like a dream that I’m not really living.

But what about David? What about the other married men in the Bible?

My main question is: Should this be my main priority?


Therefore do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For after all these things the Gentiles seek. For your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble” (Matthew 6:31-34).

When a person puts something of this world first in his life, he often gets distracted. He tries to reach his goals by any means and Satan will try to use that to divert him into sin. “Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world — the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life — is not of the Father but is of the world. And the world is passing away, and the lust of it; but he who does the will of God abides forever” (I John 2:15-17).

It is an interesting thing: When a person puts God first in his life, other things — this of this world — have a strong tendency to work out well. But when a person puts worldly things first, things have a tendency to go bad. It is due to the lack of a moral compass to guide decisions. “Get wisdom! Get understanding! Do not forget, nor turn away from the words of my mouth. Do not forsake her, and she will preserve you; love her, and she will keep you” (Proverbs 4:5-6).

Wanting to be married is perfectly natural. “And the LORD God said, ‘It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him’” (Genesis 2:18). But you make God and His laws first priority and then you won’t find yourself trying to rush matters and making mistakes along the way. You won’t be latching on to a girl just because you feel you have to have a wife and if she doesn’t work out then there won’t be someone better. You can relax a bit and trust that God will handle the things you can’t control.

If you are off-track, then now is the time to get back on track so your dreams are more likely to be fulfilled.