Last updated on September 19, 2020
Question:
Hello,
I have been reading the questions section of growingupboys.info. I want to thank you for being available to take time to answer personal questions from a biblical viewpoint.
There is one thing I would like clarification on. I, first of all, want to tell you that it is my goal to do what is pleasing to God, and to live a pure life for him. I am a 20-year-old, single guy. I have no desire to live anything but a normal personal life, but there is one thing I need clarification on. I understand that pornography is absolutely wrong and any sex with someone (mentally or physically) before marriage is wrong. I do not believe masturbation in itself is wrong, as long as it is purely mechanical, and not done with lustful fantasizing. However, I find myself sexually turned on by men with mature muscular features, and also find it pleasurable to look at pictures of men’s muscles while masturbating. I have no desire to even imagine having sex literally with a man or woman outside of marriage. So is it wrong to allow the muscularity of mature males to stimulate me sexually, or would that be considered an act of homosexuality?
Also, why is it acceptable to have “men’s” dressing rooms and “women’s” dressing rooms?
I would appreciate your time in shedding some biblical light on these questions. I am obliged to you for giving so much of your time to help me overcome my confusion on these subjects. Thank you.
Answer:
Let’s change the situation slightly. Suppose your friend told you that he masturbated to pictures of women; though he thought about their features, he wasn’t imagining himself having sex with them. I think you would say there was a disconnect because he is using the pictures for sexual stimulation yet claiming it wasn’t really sexual.
The problem is lust. I would guess it is of the form of imagining yourself as being sexually appealing to others. “Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world–the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life–is not of the Father but is of the world. And the world is passing away, and the lust of it; but he who does the will of God abides forever” (I John 2:15-17). Likely you chose men because you feel it is safer than using women to stimulate your desire. But it remains a slippery slope. It is still using other people to trigger your sexual desire. It is not an act of homosexuality, but it is a step in the direction of homosexuality.
Society in general understands that having men and women in various states of undress in the presence of each other is dangerous. Until recently it was expected that men and women do not have sexual desires for the same gender, so it has been considered safe for women to change with women and men with men. With a blatant acceptance of homosexuality, these assumptions are no longer true and I don’t know how society as a whole is going to resolve the issue that it has permitted to occur.
Response:
Thank you Mr. Hamilton. You helped me understand my situation. I will definitely steer away from anything heading in the direction of a homosexual! Thanks again!