Why did my girlfriend freak out when I told her I masturbate?

Last updated on August 29, 2021



I am 25 years old. I masturbate 2 or 3 times a week and shared this with my girlfriend. She just freaked out and said she never masturbates and nor should I do it else she would stop seeing me. What do I do?

Are women really less sexual than males, or is she just lying to me?


It isn’t that girls are less sexual, it is that their sexuality is expressed differently from boys.

Boys are driven to ejaculate periodically because their bodies are constantly producing semen. There is limited room to store the semen, so eventually, the excess has to be released through ejaculations. Some boys have wet dreams where they masturbate in their sleep, but others find they have to masturbate to get relief and to keep their sexual impulses under control. Boys’ sexual drive rises as their seminal vesicles fill up and drop to almost nothing right after they ejaculate.

While girls find masturbation pleasurable and like the release of hormones that come from reaching orgasm, they don’t have a physical need to release any pent-up fluids. Girls’ sexual drive peaks once a month around the time their bodies release an egg. From there it declines and during their menstrual cycle, they have little or no desire for sex. Girls will experience erotic dreams like boys, but those dreams tend to cluster around the time of the month when their sexual desire is high.

As a result, boys spend more time sexually aroused than girls over a month’s period of time. Because girls don’t have the physical drive to release, they often don’t understand why boys can’t ignore their sexual drive as they can.

On top of this, it is well known that many boys view pornography, especially when they want to ejaculate. Most people assume that boys who masturbate look at pornography. Thus, in your girlfriend’s mind, she heard you say that you lust after women’s bodies multiple times a week. I know it is not what you said, but it is what she heard.

There are some topics that are just not appropriate to discuss between unmarried men and women. While you are aware that girls have monthly blood flows, you really don’t need to know what types of products she uses to handle the blood. Girls are aware that boys have erections and ejaculate, but she doesn’t need to know the details, such as when and where you relieve yourself. I know you want to be open and honest, but private matters regarding your sexual equipment should remain private. Discussing these sorts of topics can be sexually arousing and might lead to temptation.


Thank you so much sir for your answer regarding girls’ sexual behavior. I will try my best not to discuss these things with my girlfriend. Since you said girls’ sexuality is quite different from boys’, I would like to know in what terms is it different apart from girls not having a physical need to release fluids.


Your question is a broad one since there are many differences between boys and girls. Let me point out one.

Boys tend to be attracted to visual stimulation, so it is not surprising that visual elements can get a guy sexually turned on. Girls tend to be verbal and emotional, so it is the relationship and the emotional interplay between people that can get a girl sexually turned on. This isn’t a hard-fast rule. Boys have an emotional side and are also interested in relationships, but not to the extent of girls. Girls enjoy visual stimulation, but not to the extent of guys.