Last updated on August 27, 2020
Question:
We’ve talked about pornography in my small group and youth group before and I know that it is a terrible sin. But I will admit that I have viewed it before because I was curious about sex. I horribly regret that so much now as I feel that it had ruined my vision of true love. I know it is really bad, but why do I always get this “feeling” to look at such things? If I ever got addicted, how could I recover? This is another one of my struggles that I hope you could help me with.
Answer:
It is natural to be curious about sex when you have sexual feelings coursing through you that you did not experience in childhood. The problem is that pornography doesn’t depict what sex actually is. It portrays corrupted forms of sex that are purposely designed to shock the viewer. The shock is wanted because of how the male body responds to sexual feelings. To get aroused, your heart needs to pump harder, your blood pressure rises, and tension is needed to clamp the muscles that cause erections. Shocking a male with sexual ideas accomplishes that. Because the body responds with pleasurable feelings, many men seek it repeatedly. But repeated exposure decreases the shock, so they look for something new or different.
The pornography industry understands this. They purposely spread pornographic around where it can be easily be found by young males. As the men seek out more, they offer it for a price. Thus they use a man’s own sexual desires against them to make a profit. They really don’t care that they leave a tainted view of sex behind, so long as they get money rolling in.
Because the body desires sexual arousal and pornography triggers arousal, it is easy to fall into the pit of using this sin to satisfy the body’s desire. “But each one is tempted when he is drawn away by his own desires and enticed. Then, when desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, brings forth death. Do not be deceived, my beloved brethren” (James 1:14-16). It is the way Satan sells sin. His easiest sales job is when the “buyers” are begging for his products.
Have you ruined yourself for life? No, so long as you understand that what you saw isn’t real and isn’t how sex is supposed to be like. Generally, I’ve found that if I explain how pornography is designed to manipulate a man and the motives behind pornography, most guys get so mad that they are able to turn away from it fairly easily. See the following for more information: