You aren’t a homosexual if you don’t make love to another guy, right?

Last updated on October 4, 2020


You are not gay or homosexual as long as you do not have any physical contact or make love with them, right?

I’m a boy, 20 years old. I started developing feelings of gayness in me when I was 15. I’m always attracted to men who have good bodies. I masturbate while thinking of them. I know this is not a good thing and it’s embarrassing to let others know. I wanted to let go of that, so here I am asking for your help.

And please tell me how to get rid of that sissiness in me. I have had that trait in me since childhood and I was teased a lot for that. That is not a sin, is it?



The sin of homosexuality is when two men act sexual with each other. There is also a lust for homosexuality, which is a sin of the mind. It is when a man wants to have sex with another man so badly that he imagines doing it in his mind and seeks to excuse it as acceptable.

But attraction just means you like how the male body looks. You are wrestling with the temptation of homosexuality because of this, but being tempted is not a sin.

It isn’t good to masturbate while thinking of men because you end up connecting the idea of sex with homosexual thoughts.

“Sissiness” has nothing to do with homosexuality. There are homosexuals who appear very manly and there are homosexuals who imitate female characteristics. That is why two words for homosexuality are used in “Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived; neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor homosexuals, nor thieves, nor the covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers, will inherit the kingdom of God” (I Corinthians 6:9-10). “Effeminate” refers to homosexuals who prefer to take the passive feminine roll in sexual acts, while “homosexual” refers to homosexuals who prefer to take the aggressive masculine roll in sexual acts.

The problem is that society, for all its talk about tolerance, is very intolerant of anyone who doesn’t meet the currently accepted norm for behavior. But the truth is that there are all sorts of guys with all sorts of interests. You can love crocheting and needlepoint and still be a wonderful lover of your wife in bed. Yes, children have a strong tendency to pick on anybody they see as different. And if they can’t find a difference, they will make something up.

You are twenty years old. You are a man. One of these days you will find a loving wife and the two of you will have children.