Question:
To give as many details as possible, I am a 19-year-old Christian man. I’ve been dating a girl for several months. We have had no sexual interactions, no sex of any kind, never been naked in front of the other, never touched each other sexual parts or anything like that.
I have a foot fetish. It is not a complete one, as in I still want regular sex with my girlfriend (of course, not till we’re married and only for good reason, so not out of lust but so that we can become one and worship the Lord with our unification). My first question is: is my foot fetish wrong?
My second question is: I have been trying to break free from masturbation. I have been doing much better at it than in the past, but I still struggle. How do I stop it so I don’t sin against the Lord? I want to do my best to praise the Lord with everything I do and to stop sinning against Him.
So please, if you can help me, I really appreciate it. If you need any other information, please feel free to ask. Thank you.
Answer:
First, I would like you to read: What does the Bible say about having a fetish? You used the word “fetish” to describe your desire, but I suspect that after you read the article, you will think that it is too strong of a term to describe your behavior and thoughts. While feet are sexually arousing to you, you don’t believe sexual behavior with your future wife can only be expressed through her feet. For this reason, I think you used too strong of a label for yourself.
Some guys get fascinated by a woman’s breasts, others by a woman’s bottom. You just picked a slightly more unusual area. So long as you don’t let it control your behavior, consider it one of your quirks. But at the same time, realize that as you indulge in pleasuring yourself while focusing on people’s feet, you are reinforcing that tie, and it is possible to do so to the point that you aren’t interested in intercourse, only in masturbating to the thoughts of feet. That is a fetish and crosses the line into being wrong.
In regards to masturbation, see: Is masturbation sinful or not? No one is required to masturbate, but some aren’t able to have wet dreams, and there is still a need to relieve the build-up of semen, so they turn to masturbation. Whether you choose to masturbate is up to you; just don’t beat yourself up if you need to relieve yourself, nor try to prevent yourself from ejaculating and losing your self-control because instinct takes over.