Last updated on October 5, 2020
Question:
Hello,
I used to date this girl. She was my friend since sixth grade and we were always cool. She decided she wanted to date me, so I went on ahead and dated her because I thought she had a great personality and that she was serious about it. A couple of days later she stops talking to me out of nowhere and acting like we weren’t even friends. I was confused because she made me think that she liked me and she wanted to be with me for a long time. I told my mom and she told me that I shouldn’t talk to her because there is something wrong with her — she likes to play with others’ emotions. Later on, she starts talking to me again acting like she didn’t hurt me. I didn’t want to cause any tension, so I just responded back to her, but I can see she is still just playing with my emotions because she knows I kind of have feelings for her. She also posted on a social media site that she messes with people’s emotions just to see if she can do it and that made me upset. I want to tell her to leave me alone and ask why she would do that to me, but I can’t seem to do it because I don’t want to cause any tension at the moment, but later I tell myself I should have of just told her off. I want her to leave me alone, but I can’t seem to say it.
How do you think I should handle this situation? I’m sorry this is so long, but it has just been bothering me so much.
Answer:
Your mother has the correct idea about this girl. She has a problem with pride. She’s basically a bully who gets her amusement from manipulating other people. I would not be surprised that in her past there was something that made her feel like she had no control, so she uses this to assure herself that she does have some control.
Nice as she might appear otherwise, she has demonstrated that she lies and cannot be trusted. Can you imagine being married to such a woman? Your life would be miserable — never knowing for sure whether she was happy or not.
The best way to deal with this is to admit that she is not the type of girl you want in your life. Be polite and kind to her, but don’t involve her in your life. So if she says she wants to date you again, say something like: “How sweet of you!” (If you want to be sarcastic, you can throw in: “I can see why.”) “But no thanks, you’re not the kind of girl I’m looking for.” If she asks why, tell her the truth, “You have a cruel streak in you that isn’t healthy.” Likely she’ll deny it. Just smile, tell her to have a nice day and walk away.