Last updated on December 31, 2025
Question:
How do I deal with the following situation?
I have known two identical twin girls for many years and have liked one of them off and on for several years. Now my best friend likes her, and she likes him. They both know this, but they aren’t officially dating yet. I told my friend I did like her, but I don’t anymore. I had some conflicting feelings as I said that. I wasn’t sure if I didn’t like her because they liked each other or for another reason. I am still being shipped with her by most of my friends, and I have told them that even if I did like her, I couldn’t.
Recently, some of my friends started shipping me with her twin sister. I hadn’t ever really talked to her too much or even close to the other one. (We were best friends in Elementary School.) Even my brothers started doing it. Somehow, they heard that I liked her, but I didn’t. (Now we’re talking about the other twin.)
I was prepared to confront her about it yesterday. I went to see one of her shows, where she was the lead. I somehow developed a crush on her sometime during her play. We never ended up talking; we just stood awkwardly around. Now I’m wondering whether I should act on my feelings. What should I do moving forward? Should I wait until we’re old enough to date and then ask her? Will I still like her then? Any input is helpful.
Thank you.
Answer:
In all aspects of life, polite honesty always leads to fewer difficulties. Regarding the girl that you know and somewhat like, you should simply tell your best friend that you like her, but you don’t plan to act on those feelings since he is currently interested in her. Regarding your friends and brothers who want to pair you with her twin sister, the simple answer is that you haven’t talked to her yet, so it isn’t reasonable to assume there is interest. Regarding the twin sister, if you are interested in talking with her to find out if you might like her, there is no harm in doing so. However, don’t assume that you like someone you don’t know simply because you’ve seen her.
People tend to be in a rush, and in their mad dash, they make a lot of mistakes. Be deliberate in your approach to life and relationships. You have plenty of time to decide who you want to spend the rest of your life with.