Last updated on October 9, 2020
Question:
I’m 14 years old and got into a bad texting friendship with a male. He showed me gay porn, he sent me nude pictures, and I was aroused. I’m a Christian, and recently I’ve had this urge to masturbate. I gave in to my sinful desires. I masturbated to gay porn, and I’m not proud of it. Yet, it seemed weirdly right.
I found this site and I checked what you had to say. It seems I should follow your advice. You said in order to shake these sinful attractions, I must clear my head of porn, and my body will naturally clear itself; yet, I’ve still had that urge, and I have given into it still. How can I get out of my own trap? I keep falling into it, even though I’d like to leave it in the dust.
Answer:
First, right and wrong are not based on our personal desires. Too often our desires will lead us astray. As God told the Israelites, “You too have done evil, even more than your forefathers; for behold, you are each one walking according to the stubbornness of his own evil heart, without listening to Me” (Jeremiah 6:12). You wear the name of Christian, which means “follower of Christ,” so start following him. “I have been crucified with Christ; and it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself up for me” (Galatians 2:20).
Whether you like it or not, homosexuality is condemned by God. “For this reason God gave them over to degrading passions; for their women exchanged the natural function for that which is unnatural, and in the same way also the men abandoned the natural function of the woman and burned in their desire toward one another, men with men committing indecent acts and receiving in their own persons the due penalty of their error” (Romans 1:26-27). Since the act is sinful, then lusting for it is also sinful. Paul argued it this way: “For this is the will of God, your sanctification; that is, that you abstain from sexual immorality; that each of you know how to possess his own vessel in sanctification and honor, not in lustful passion, like the Gentiles who do not know God” (I Thessalonians 4:3-5).
- God wants you to be set apart for a special purpose (sanctified).
- That means you cannot engage in sex outside of marriage (fornication or sexual immorality) because that is using your body to commit sin and you are no longer special.
- Therefore you need to know how to control (possess) your body so it can be used for honorable purposes.
- But if the act of fornication is wrong, then things that lead up to the act, such as looking as material designed to arouse lust in you, is also wrong.
- Christians are not to be like worldly people who don’t know God.
Therefore, you need to cut your friendship with this guy who is pushing you toward homosexuality. “Do not be deceived: ‘Bad company corrupts good morals’” (I Corinthians 15:33). Second, erase all the pornography from your phone and computer. Third, delete all the links and histories that you used to find pornography.
When you have an urge to look at pornography, realize that behind that urge is really a need to ejaculate. Therefore, instead of turning on your phone or computer and browsing until you run across pornography, put all the electronics away, find a private place, and go ahead and masturbate. It won’t be as thrilling as masturbating to pornography, but it takes care of the need without sinning. Once you have ejaculated, you’ll find that your desire to look at pornography will have disappeared. It will stay gone for a while until your seminal vesicles fill up again and you need to ejaculate again.
Response:
What you said was entirely correct: I have no homosexual attractions; rather, I have sexual attractions, and because I was filling my brain with that trash — that gay porn — I found myself masturbating to those images. The porn is what has been perverting my mind.
Thank you for giving me a place to talk, as this subject is nearly impossible to talk about with anyone. I thank you for providing an educational website that not only has clarified a lot of things for myself (and many others) but has explained why I was being perverted.
With all of this, I have deleted his contacts and removed any history of porn from my computer. I will delete the links, and the next time I feel an urge, I will forget the porn and masturbate by myself.
Again, thank you.