How do I make the right choices?

Question:

Good day sir,

I am a grown man now of 20 years. I am having a problem with making decisions. Everything anybody says seems to suit me. Would you please advise me on how to make the right choices in life and do the right things? I am tired of making decisions on my own. I want to do things the right way. I want to hear from God, and it seems He is not saying anything to me.

Answer:

It sounds like you are having two problems.

Pleasing Everyone

No one can serve two masters; for either he will hate the one and love the other, or else he will be loyal to the one and despise the other” (Matthew 6:24).

There are billions of people in this world and each person has his own opinion. Practically, there is no way to please everyone.

However, there is no need to please everyone. There is only one whose thoughts matter and that is God. “Jesus said to him, ‘You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.’ This is the first and great commandment” (Matthew 22:37-38). Loving God means that you do as He commands. “He who has My commandments and keeps them, it is he who loves Me. And he who loves Me will be loved by My Father, and I will love him and manifest Myself to him” (John 14:21). Now, following God will cause many people not to like you because there are many people who don’t want to follow God. “If you were of the world, the world would love its own; but because you are not of the world, but I chose you out of the world, because of this the world hates you” (John 15:19). To the Christian, hatred from worldly people simply means he is doing what is right.

Not Wanting to be Responsible

God gave every person the right to make his own choices. God teaches us through the Bible how to make good choices, but He will not stop anyone from making bad choices.

‘The person who sins will die. The son will not bear the punishment for the father’s iniquity, nor will the father bear the punishment for the son’s iniquity; the righteousness of the righteous will be upon himself, and the wickedness of the wicked will be upon himself. But if the wicked man turns from all his sins which he has committed and observes all My statutes and practices justice and righteousness, he shall surely live; he shall not die. All his transgressions which he has committed will not be remembered against him; because of his righteousness which he has practiced, he will live. Do I have any pleasure in the death of the wicked,’ declares the Lord GOD, ‘rather than that he should turn from his ways and live?’” (Ezekiel 18:20-23).

What you are trying to do is to take a shortcut. You want God (or someone else) to tell you what to do instead of learning from God how to make good decisions on your own. When you do this, you are really pushing the responsibility off on God (or another person) and God doesn’t allow that.

I have a set of four lessons that I would like you to go through that will explain, in detail, the proper way to make good decisions. See What is God’s Will for Me?

I can help you learn from the Bible how to make good moral choices. If you are struggling with figuring out which choice is best, I can show you what the Bible says about the matter. However, ultimately, you have to make the choice and live with the result. So, what decision are you trying to make at the moment that has you perplexed?