Last updated on October 9, 2020
Question:
I am a guy who just graduated from college and never had a girlfriend. I honestly feel that I will die lonely without every holding a woman’s hand or experience love in dating or marriage? Should I pray God sends me the right girl since I’ve already given up with trying to convince even one girl to spend time with and get to know?
Answer:
Of course, you should pray to God for help, but you also should show that you are interested in what you are asking for. Go where good women are, such as at a church. Visit neighboring congregations. Travel to other regions where there are young people getting together for various events that you are interested in. While your search may not be enough to find yourself a wife, sitting at home and hoping that God drops a woman in your lap shows that you aren’t really all that interested in having a wife.
Question:
Well, I’m afraid of rejection, so that’s why I have to resort to online dating. If a woman says, “No, I’m not interested” or doesn’t reciprocate, I lose all hope because no other guy gets rejected like me.
Answer:
In order to find a job, you have to risk rejection. Not every employer will see you as a good fit for the job openings that they have. Often you have to face repeated rejections before landing a really good job. One of my friends turned in over a thousand applications to find a job in his field. He managed because he knew that this is what it took to get a really good job.
Yet, marriage is far more important and longer-lasting than a job. It takes two people to decide that they are a good fit for each other. While you are risking being rejected by a woman, she is risking being rejected by you. It is something that has to be faced because you can’t find the right woman without knowing who isn’t a good fit for you.
The problem with online dating is that it is far too easy to lie. Thus, even when you find someone willing to meet with you, far too often they are not the person you imagined them to be from their profile.
Getting out and meeting people is actually easier because there is no initial rejection. You can actually know someone for who she is in a real environment. Then if you are impressed with who she is, you can ask if she would like to do something with you. You take your time with many observations to decide if you want to become serious about a particular woman. Eventually, you’ll have to take the risk of being rejected to ask if she is also interested in you. She might say “no,” but the sooner you realize that she is not interested, the better off you are.
Therefore, get out of the house and meet real people.