Question:
I have had wet dreams before, but the last one disturbed me. The person who was in it is someone I think is good-looking, but I have never had any sexual thoughts or the like about her. Did I sin?
Answer:
During the day, you take in far more information than can be easily handled. When you sleep, your brain organizes the various bits and pieces to make them easier to retrieve. That is why your dreams are often strange. You see bits and pieces of your day mixed in with memories of other things. Sometimes the connections don’t make logical sense, but that is a part of the reason people are creative.
When you have a wet dream, your brain responds to the rising need to ejaculate by retrieving things filed under “erotic.” But everything filed there isn’t necessarily erotic. You thought this particular girl looked attractive, sex is supposed to take place with your wife you hope will be attractive, and so the brain says, “Close enough!” and supplies an erotic scene (or maybe not so erotic) with an easily retrieved attractive person.
You can’t control your dreams. All you can do is avoid the garbage that is out in the world so that your brain has fewer sinful ideas to work with.
Sin is when you choose to break God’s law. Dreams don’t happen by your choice, so what happened was not a sin.