Last updated on October 7, 2020
Question:
I’m a preteen, and I have thoughts about this girl in my class nonstop. This topic feels awkward because I know I am young. I live in a community that doesn’t approve of having a crush. By that, I mean that some other students, who know about this, laugh at me a lot (and accuse me of liking her) mixed in with others who make it feel extremely uncomfortable. I want to ask her out extremely badly, but I just can’t due to the students who make it such a big deal. My friend and I are fighting over her even though she isn’t someone popular — more into the shy and cute side. Both of us are Muslim (please don’t mind the religion). My reputation is my priority, so I can’t let the people say what they want and start rumors. I don’t know what I should do.
Lately, she called me a pathological liar. I’ve done nothing, I am sure! She hasn’t talked to me ever since. I am starting to feel that she hates me.
What should I do?
Answer:
It appears that your interest in this girl is a bit one-sided at the moment. I have no idea why she accused you of always lying.
The problem with crushes is that they are not founded in reality. There are things you like about this girl, most probably it has to do with her looks. However, I suspect that you don’t really know this girl all that well. Asking her out is one way to solve that problem, but you do not have to be that formal. You could take time to just talk to her as a friend.
In regards to the accusations, you are embarrassed that others have noticed that you like her. They are not accusing you of something untrue. What they are after is making you uncomfortable; thus, you can remove that by meeting it in a straightforward manner. “Yes, I am interested in getting to know her one day. Who are you interested in?” Notice the reply says you are not embarrassed and that you know the other boys also have interests that they are not willing to admit.