Last updated on August 19, 2020
Question:
Hello.
I am 17 years old. I have been with my girlfriend for over ten months now. Just today I noticed little pimple-like spots around the middle of my penis. The tip of it itches too. I have never actually had real sex, but I have had oral and digital with her. Neither of us has had anything past digital outside our relationship and the one time that there was digital was when we weren’t together, obviously, but it was for only a few minutes and there was no ejaculation or anything.
The dots are similar to pimples because they look like them (only a lot smaller) and when squeezed a little bit of puss and blood comes out. They don’t hurt and they really have no effect on anything. I haven’t had any fevers, headaches, or anything. There are no signs that I’ve noticed yet. But I just want to make sure and I figured I’d come to you first. I am a Christian and I have been since birth. I know that what I’ve been doing with my girlfriend is wrong. We never even meant to get started on it, but we did. And we are both raised as Christians. We both realize that we have sinned and know that we are completely at fault.
I just want to make sure that it’s not an STD because I have many friends and acquaintances that have had sex more than once, and have no STD’s. They went and got checked and everything. So, i just want to make sure.
Thank you so much for your time. I think it is great what you’re doing for people!
Answer
While you don’t want to label your fooling around as “sex,” the fact remains that you were having sex when you had oral sex. In the Bible, it is called fornication. “Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived. Neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor homosexuals, nor sodomites, nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners will inherit the kingdom of God” (I Corinthians 6:9-10). What you are calling “digital” is more correctly called foreplay — the actions are taken to get the body prepared for sexual intercourse. It too is just as much a part of sex as starting a car is a part of driving.
The length of time you engage in sin or the fact that one of those times you didn’t do it long enough to ejaculate doesn’t change the fact that you sinned. While you would like to think that it is “obvious” that you have you are only sinning with one girl at a time, such is not reality. Those who are willing to commit fornication, even while knowing that God calls it a sin, don’t have much to stop them from sinning with other people as well. I’m going to assume that you are being straight forward about your past and that your girlfriend has been honest with you about her other relationships.
Before I get to your actual question, there is one more thing that I need to “lecture” you about. You state that “We never even meant to get started on it.” I find that hard to believe. After all, you said that this is at least the second girl with whom you engaged in sexual foreplay and you imply that she has done the same with other guys as well. I accept that a person might be surprised the first time at the strength of sexual desire and go further than intended, but that excuse fails when you repeat the same actions. “A wise man is cautious and turns away from evil, but a fool is arrogant and careless” (Proverbs 14:16). In this, you have been playing the part of a fool. You did things you knew was wrong, but made excuses for them any. You were careless about the nature of the sin you were engaged in and went farther than you might have intended, yet that the consequence was predictable. The claim that you didn’t spend time thinking about it in advance only demonstrates your immaturity.
Now, let’s get to your actual question. You didn’t mention the time-lapse between having oral sex and having pimples showing up on your penis. I’m going to assume that oral sex took place somewhat recently. I assume also that you had your penis in her mouth.
Now think about this: the skin of your penis is very thin, especially when it is erect. You have it in someone’s mouth where their teeth can come into contact with your penis. While it might not be intentional, I doubt you kept still while it was going on. Thus the chance of scratches, even ones that don’t fully break the skin and cause bleeding, is very high.
In addition, human saliva contains numerous germs. Even if an STD is not involved, there are many more germs than just an STD. Her saliva would be in contact with your skin and your skin was likely to have been scratched, thus providing an entrance for germs.
Most likely the germs involved are not in the category of a sexually transmitted disease, but it cannot be ruled out. Embarrassing as it is, you need to see a doctor just in case. Many diseases don’t show a huge number of symptoms until they cause significant damage. You are better off not waiting that long.
I hope that you find out that it is only a minor infection. More importantly, I hope you take this as a warning. Sex belongs in marriage between a loving and committed couple. You are too young to start ruining your life over a few minutes of pleasure. “Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge” (Hebrews 13:4).
Question:
I understand exactly what you’re saying. And I know that I’m making up excuses. I am sorry for that. I was just scared, you know? But, thank you so much for all the help. You are incredible and I thank you from the bottom of my heart. I do love my girlfriend and I’m going to tell her that we are going to stop fooling around and wait until marriage. Thanks again so much! I appreciate it so much!
Answer:
I’m glad you realize that you are just excusing your sins. People have a tendency to make light of their own sins and yet will come down hard on other people’s sins. We have to train ourselves to see our lives as God sees them and not assume that God sees us as we wish to be seen.
Get yourself check over by a doctor, so you can put this concern behind you. I’ll be praying that it is nothing serious and easily cured.
I appreciate that you desire to love your girlfriend, but take it from an older man — you haven’t begun to scratch the surface of what love is truly about. The problem is that you’re in danger of missing out on true love. Acting like an animal in heat isn’t love. The world calls it that, but that is because so many in the world think that it is nothing more than butterflies in the stomach and orgasms. If you ever get a chance to study the Song of Solomon, it would do you wonders. It is about the nature of love and relationships; about courting, marriage, and developing a lasting relationship; all done as a poem. Interestingly, it is also given from the woman’s point of view. For guys, that is eye-opening in itself. One study of this book is “The Greatest Love Song Written.”
But keep your clothes on and stop treating each other as sex objects. You are creations of God, made in His image. Both of you are living, thinking beings who can become each other’s best friends for life. “Live joyfully with the wife whom you love all the days of your vain life which He has given you under the sun, all your days of vanity; for that is your portion in life, and in the labor which you perform under the sun” (Ecclesiastes 9:9). When you learn to love a woman for who she is — not as a warm place to put your penis — but as an incredible companion; then when you are committed to each other in marriage, you’ll have the freedom to give sex to each other, without worries, and the experience will blow you both away.