Last updated on September 25, 2020
Question:
I am fourteen years old. I go to an all-boys’ school. However, I recently realized that I am transgender. I’ve known all my life, but understanding and being aware are two completely different things. I have also found that according to the APA there is a connection between Gender Dysphoria and a hormone imbalance in the womb. I can’t live as a boy anymore. I’m afraid that if I do, I will snap. Currently my grades, social, religious, and family life are suffering tremendously. Should I bring this up with my ADHD psychologist and see about medical and social treatment. According to your calculator, I am stage 3.5. What should I do?
Answer:
Just to make sure I didn’t miss something, I went back and read the current beliefs. Everything I found says that what is labeled as “Gender Dysphoria” has no known cause. It is then followed by numerous guesses almost all of which is stated that there are no studies supporting the guesses. The few studies came to no conclusion. It might sound scientific, but it isn’t — it is wishful thinking.
Rather than listen to men making up things, I start with the Bible. “So God created man in His own image; in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them” (Genesis 1:27). Human beings come in only two “flavors”: male and female. Anyone seeing you, especially in all your glory, would instantly know you are a male. If your DNA was found at a crime scene, the police would be looking for a male. Thus, without a doubt physically you are a male.
The question is why are you rejecting who you are? That is something I can’t easily answer without talking to you for a while. I don’t know if you feel inferior to other boys, if you have been sexually molested, or teased to the point that you assume you are different from other boys. What I almost always find is that the boy who rejects his gender has an unreasonable expectation of what being male really is. He might think that males are athletic, but he isn’t. He might see males as aggressive, but he isn’t. He might think that males only get erect with females, but he gets aroused by males. Whatever the mistaken notion, the boy goes to an extreme and categorizes himself as a female.
The really strange thing is that anyone talking with you or another boy who claims he is female would conclude that you are a boy. I know psychobabble claims otherwise, but the truth is that you think like a boy, you reason like a boy, and you solve problems like a boy. Recently there have been brain mappings between males and females showing that the two brains function differently. [“Brain ‘wired differently’ in men and women,” Medical News Today]. I’m positive if a mapping was done of your brain, it would show you to be male.
The shameful thing currently going on is that instead of people helping you or others figure out why you are rejecting who you are, they instead try to encourage you to stay with whatever you want to believe and insist that the rest of the world go along with it. But that is really what modern psychology is all about. It isn’t interested in what is right or wrong, it is only interested in making a person feel good — even if the person is feeling good about doing wrong.
I know that this isn’t what you want to hear. It doesn’t make you feel good at the moment. But then, I’m aiming for your long-term and eternal happiness, even if that means facing hard concepts now. Your claim that understanding and awareness are two different things is false. The idea that you just recently realized you are a transgender and that you’ve always known it is a contradiction. What you are really saying is that you recently decided you are transgender and to support your conclusion you have redefined the events in your past to support your current conclusion. That a person can so completely convince himself of a falsehood is not unusual. God won’t stop a person from lying to himself. “And for this reason God will send them strong delusion, that they should believe the lie, that they all may be condemned who did not believe the truth but had pleasure in unrighteousness” (II Thessalonians 2:11-12).