Question:
Hello,
I believe in Jesus, but I like guys, and I want to have sex with guys. I know it’s not right. God condemns it severely, but I can’t control myself. What else can I do? I want to ask for your help.
Answer:
Jesus asked an important question: “Why do you call Me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ and do not do what I say? Everyone who comes to Me and hears My words and acts on them, I will show you whom he is like: he is like a man building a house, who dug deep and laid a foundation on the rock; and when a flood occurred, the torrent burst against that house and could not shake it, because it had been well built. But the one who has heard and has not acted accordingly, is like a man who built a house on the ground without any foundation; and the torrent burst against it and immediately it collapsed, and the ruin of that house was great” (Luke 6:46-49). Imagine approaching a business owner, saying you want to work for him, but only if you get to decide what you will do for him. I’m sure he would tell you to leave because he doesn’t want an employee who doesn’t follow his directions.
As Christians, we accept Jesus as our Lord. We realize that because he has saved us from our sins, we show our appreciation by serving him. It doesn’t make sense to claim to believe in Jesus and then say you won’t follow him completely. “You believe that God is one. You do well; the demons also believe, and shudder. But are you willing to recognize, you foolish fellow, that faith without works is useless?” (James 2:19-20).
Whether you follow Jesus or not, it won’t change the fact that you will still face Christ in Judgment. “The conclusion, when all has been heard, is: fear God and keep His commandments, because this applies to every person. For God will bring every act to judgment, everything which is hidden, whether it is good or evil” (Ecclesiastes 12:13-14). How are you going to feel telling your Creator that you knew you were doing wrong, but you wanted to do it anyway?
Therefore, let us consider why God said homosexuality is wrong. God tells us that His commands are not arbitrary. The things God directs us to do are for our good. “Now, Israel, what does the LORD your God require from you, but to fear the LORD your God, to walk in all His ways and love Him, and to serve the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul, and to keep the LORD’S commandments and His statutes which I am commanding you today for your good?” (Deuteronomy 10:12-13). Sin is wrong because it causes us harm. Take a look at an answer I gave a young woman years ago: “Don’t you dare change my mind, but why is homosexuality bad?” When you are young, you tend to ignore risks and think you are invincible. Sadly, what you think doesn’t change the facts.
You say that you can’t control yourself, but I don’t think you are being honest. From the way you expressed your question, I conclude that you desire to have sex with men, but you have not yet done so. That tells me you have been controlling yourself so far, at least to a certain extent.
“For this is the will of God, your sanctification; that is, that you abstain from sexual immorality; that each of you know how to possess his own vessel in sanctification and honor, not in lustful passion, like the Gentiles who do not know God” (I Thessalonians 4:3-5).
God wants you to be set apart for a special and holy purpose. However, you cannot be special or holy if you are involved in sex outside of marriage. You must know how to control your body (your vessel) to avoid this danger. To maintain self-control, you must not get involved in passionate things that are designed to cause you to lust. You can’t expect to resist temptation if you watch people sin and want to do it. Therefore, I must conclude that you have been watching homosexual pornography, and this is why you are feeling like you can’t control yourself.
If you decide that eternal life with God is more important to you than a few moments of pleasure and eternal destruction waiting for you at the end of life, then you need to start by getting rid of the pornography completely.
Response:
Thank you for sharing and replying.
Last night, I prayed in my heart. I told God, “I don’t want to offend You; please help me.”
I’ll be honest, I just want to experience that pleasure. I don’t really like guys. I understood that even though I wanted to have sex, the Holy Spirit would hinder me because I was so unsettled. Pray for the Lord’s help that I will be a vessel of holiness in this regard and that I know that the truth will be done.
Thank you again for your reply, and I pray that God blesses you and the church you are in.