Last updated on September 15, 2020
Question:
First of all, I’m eleven. There is one thing about me that has always bothered me though. I can ejaculate. I have quite a bit of pubic hair. About three days ago I saw myself in the mirror, and I thought I saw dust on my armpits and took a closer look and found out there were three hairs sprouting out. I think I may have a noticeable voice box because I once saw a high school student and compared my voice box and it seems my voice box isn’t as big as his, but it seems to be bigger than a lot of people my age. My main problem is my height. You may think this kid must be pretty tall, but I’m actually the opposite. I only grow an inch a year and I’m only 4’9″ to 4’10” inches tall! Is there something wrong with me? I once accidentally walked in on my twin brother showering and ran out of the room, but I noticed he doesn’t have any hair at all on his ummm… thing. He does have lots of pimples though and he’s four to five inches taller than me and I was born thirty seconds earlier. It’s really hard for girls to notice me. They all think I’m a pre-adolescent little cute boy, and it really bugs me. Sometimes they even treat me like a baby! Am I normal?
Also I have this weird white fuzzy stuff on the sides of my face, but it’s not thick. It’s more light and fluffy.
Also is it normal for my mind to be on girls a lot or to think about sex or have dreams about it?
Finally, all the boys my age usually seem to be so immature! It seems like all they care about is their fake guns and knives and other stupid things like that. Sometimes you can get a decent one to hang out with, though it’s quite difficult to find someone of my gender to hang out with who isn’t into the whole girls are gross stuff. It really gets on my nerves.
I’m sorry for asking so many questions, but I just needed someone to talk to. My mum is okay but she always embarrasses me in front of my friends. She never used to embarrass me, and if she did, I obviously didn’t realize it. And my dad is really awkward to talk to!
Anyway, am I normal?
Answer
Let’s start with the easy one: You are very much normal.
Dr. Tanner divided growth into five stages. Stage 1 is childhood. Stage 5 is adulthood. Stage 2 is when you first begin seeing signs that you are changing. Stage 3 is when you grow rapidly. Stage 4 is when that growth slows back down. At stage 5 all growth in height stops.
About half of all boys gain the ability to ejaculate in stage 2. The rest gain it by stage 4. You are in the early group. You also started puberty earlier than most boys since it sounds like you are the beginning of stage 3. There is a calculator you can use to estimate your stage: See the Tanner Stage Calculator for Boys.
It is because you have the ability to ejaculate that thoughts about sex and girls are on your mind a lot. As your body produces semen, it needs to get rid of the older semen to make room for newer batches. It does this through ejaculations. As the glands that make semen (the seminal vesicles) get full, your interest in sex rises. Eventually, you get rid of the excess when you have a dream about sex and you ejaculate in your sleep or semi-sleep. This is called having a wet dream.
That your voice box is noticeable mostly means you are skinny. But as it gets bigger your voice will begin to get lower. That typically happens in stage 4.
It is during stage 3 that your growth will speed up. The problem, if you will, is that since you seem to be ahead of the average (the typical time is 13, but it looks like yours will be age 12), you will be starting from a lower point. It means you will get strong and look more like a man earlier than your peers, but it also means that the odds are that you will be on the shorter side as well.
You and your brother are fraternal twins. That means that while you were conceived together, you came from two different eggs from your mother and were fertilized by two different sperm from your father. You are similar because you have the same parents, like any other pair of brothers, but you are also different. Your brother is behind you in the Tanner stages, but his body has been growing a bit faster during childhood too.
Because you are developing sooner than many of your peers, your brain is maturing sooner as well. This is why boys your own age seem immature to you. It won’t last long. Many of them will catch up to you in a few years. Since girls develop faster than boys, they see the same thing. The problem you are noticing is that they assume you are like the other boys and because you haven’t hit your growth spurt yet, they conclude that you are like the others who are the same age as you. As hard as it will be, you need to be patient. Even for a mature boy, it is too soon for you to have a serious relationship with a girl and if you start too soon, it will lead to trouble.
What you are seeing on the side of your face is commonly called peach fuzz. It is the precursor to the thicker hair that will form your beard when you get older. Some of those hairs will get long and will need to be trimmed off. You may want to consider talking to your dad about learning to shave. At your age I would recommend an electric shaver — it is easier on the skin. You probably will only need to shave once every few weeks for a while. It will literally take years to get enough thick hair to grow a decent beard. Most guys can’t grow a beard until they are in their twenties, though I suspect you’ll be able to grow one in your late teens.
Your mom really hasn’t changed. It is you who is changing. One of the things you need to keep in mind is that because your brain is rewiring itself for adult-like thinking, you are going through a phase where you have a hard time reading people’s body language and facial expressions. Adolescents have a strong tendency to assume extremes in emotions. Thus, a parent’s mild scolding is seen as yelling. Or friendliness is seen as being over the top. It is very common for adolescents to think their parents are awkward, embarrassing, mean, and totally uncool. In some ways, it is a necessary phase that leads you to become an independent man. There will also come a time that you’ll realize that your parents are human and have flaws — just like you and everyone else. Many teenagers find that to be a major disappointment. But by the time you reach adulthood, especially once you are on your own, your view is going to switch back again and you are going to realize that your parents are a good source of experience and wisdom.
You are welcome to talk to me at any time and ask all the questions you want.