I’m not interested in homosexuality, but I keep finding myself looking at guys

Last updated on October 9, 2020



I have a question about homosexuality. A couple of months ago I started looking at pictures of these very attractive muscular men and didn’t think anything of it. Now let me just tell you I know I’m not gay. I’m 13 and from a very traditional family. I have a crush on a girl at church. But I still just can’t stop thinking about why I even started looking at those pictures in the first place. I don’t want to be gay, and I know I’m not gay; I’m just confused about my forming sexual feelings. I have always liked girls and have never done anything to indicate my being gay. I’m just a stereotypical American boy.

I am disgusted by the thought of being gay and wanting to be in a sexual relationship with a man. I have always liked girls. I’m just concerned that I might be gay because I looked at those pictures of muscular men on the Internet without thinking about it. I think I want to just look like those men, but I worry that I might just be in denial about the real reason I looked at those pictures. I still don’t even know what that reason is. I think it’s just that I thought it was really impressive to be that muscular.

Please help me!


From a biblical point of view, sin occurs when someone commits a sinful act. Thus, the sin of homosexuality occurs when two guys have sex. A strong desire to break God’s law is called lust. A strong desire to have sex with another guy would be a form of lust. However, you have not committed the sin, nor do you desire to commit the sin. It doesn’t even sound like you find the thought of committing the sin tempting.

Most boys go through a phase where they find men they admire. They could be athletes, musicians, actors, or just an older boy at school. There is nothing wrong with it in general. When you are changing, you search out role models to guide you through the changes and to model how you ought to behave. Since guys tend to be visually oriented, we tend to focus on visual things we admire about others. This can be dangerous because it is the character and not the looks that matter most in life. There are people who will take advantage of the interest to tempt young men into sins — drinking, drugs, sex, etc. It appears to me that you realize the possibility.

Everyone wonders what their body will look like after they mature. They hope they will be attractive, with a muscular form, like some other guys. All of this is normal, but don’t let this interest lead you down the wrong path.


Thank you so much! This helps a lot!

I’ve started to realize that I know I’m not attracted to the same sex. I have a big crush on a girl at church. I just want to be muscular like those men. I have absolutely no desire to be with another man physically. I really want to get married and have kids and do traditional American things.

Thanks for your help.