I’m too embarrassed to ask my dad about my penis or about pornography

Last updated on September 23, 2020

Question:

Hi,

I’m 14. I have a tight, circumcised penis that is bent. It’s 5″ and about 1 to 2″ in width. It’s worried me ever since it’s gotten larger during puberty. I sleep on my left side, and that’s the way it’s bent. I think it grew that way, but I’m not so sure.

Also, I have been very curious about what other men’s and teens’ penises look like. My dad doesn’t talk about these things and didn’t talk about sex. I do live on a farm with cows and stuff, but I really didn’t know how it all worked. I just ejaculate by masturbation, yet I had been having nocturnal emissions since 12. I have trouble looking at people’s penises on the computer, and I think my dad might have had trouble looking at pornography, but I’m not sure. I’m too embarrassed to ask, so I’m asking you.

Thanks so much for your help. God bless you and have a good day!

p.s. I’m a 14.3 on the Tanner Stage Calculator.

Answer:

You are welcome to ask all the questions you want of me on any topic that comes to mind.

Since the Tanner Stage Calculator only goes from 1.0 to 5.5, you must have mistyped your results. 🙂

A bent penis means that it bends in the middle when erect and not in the direction it hangs. A bend greater than 45 degrees is considered a problem. Small bends are normal; in fact, a perfectly straight penis would be unusual. Sleeping on one side or the other will not cause a bent penis.

Pornography is wrong because it creates lust in people. Lust is when you think about doing things that are sinful, wanting to do these things and justifying them in your mind that such sins could be acceptable. Thus, using pictures of sexual things to get yourself excited so that you’ll ejaculate is wrong because you are thinking sexual thoughts about people you are not married to. Sex outside of marriage is a sin. “For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you should abstain from sexual immorality; that each of you should know how to possess his own vessel in sanctification and honor, not in passion of lust, like the Gentiles who do not know God” (I Thessalonians 4:3-5). I would like you to read two articles on what is wrong with pornography and then we can talk about any specific questions or problems that you have. See: A Look at Pornography and Lies Pornography Tells Men.

As far as how sex works, I want you to start with something I wrote a while back. It focuses on how your body works, so that will give a start to the discussion. See: Growing Up in the Lord: A Study for Teenage Boys. I’m not expecting that it will answer all your questions, but it should give you the terms and some foundation so you can express what is on your mind.

Question:

You must have misunderstood me. I don’t look at naked women at all and I don’t even look at the men for ejaculation. I ejaculate by rubbing my penis, and I don’t know of a good reason for looming at naked men. I think I’m just curious and like looking at different sizes and shapes of other people’s penises.

I meant I’m a 4.3, not a 14.3.

How is it bad to look at men on different web sites when the Tanner Stage Calculator has pictures of penises on it?

I avoid gay web sites completely and have no desires or crushes or thoughts about other guys or being gay.

About having sex before marriage is way off. I know God has a special helpmate and best friend for life. I’ve already thought about how absurd it would be to have sex without marriage. Besides, I don’t even know any girls my age and I don’t want a girlfriend until I’m done with my education.

May the Lord bless you.

Answer:

The difficulty that I have is not knowing the people who write to me. I can only go by what is written and must make some assumptions, or at least cover some bases when certain topics are mentioned. Since you brought up looking at pictures of people naked, mentioned masturbation, and mentioned the Internet as your source, I had to make sure you understood what pornography was and why it is wrong.

I’m glad to hear that you are not involved in pornography, fornication, or homosexuality. I hope by learning why these things are wrong that it will give you the knowledge necessary to continue to stay away from these things.