Last updated on August 29, 2020
Question:
I am a 13-year-old male. Today I woke up feeling aroused. I went through the school day with no relief and being very distracted. I’m scared I might have to masturbate before going to sleep, which would really bother me. The last time I ejaculated through masturbation was only five days ago because I couldn’t get to sleep. I don’t wish to depend on masturbation because I’m afraid that if I do it too much, I won’t feel satisfied.
Please help!
Answer:
A part of being a male is that your seminal vesicles fill up with semen. As they get full, your feeling of being aroused increases until your next ejaculation. The typical male ends up ejaculating about two times per week. For some it is more, for others it is less. It also varies with your thoughts. The more you think about sexual things, the faster your body produces semen.
There are two ways to deal with excess semen: You can trigger an ejaculation by masturbating or your body will do so during your sleep, which is called a wet dream. The danger in masturbating is that it is really tempting to help things along by thinking lustful thoughts or by looking at pornographic images to give yourself lustful thoughts. Lust is a sin and looking pornography is sinful. “For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you should abstain from sexual immorality; that each of you should know how to possess his own vessel in sanctification and honor, not in passion of lust, like the Gentiles who do not know God” (I Thessalonians 4:3-5). You can wait until the urge is really strong before masturbating, such as when it disturbs your sleep, and you’ll be able to ejaculate without much effort.
I’m not certain what you mean by satisfied, but I assume that you mean the relief you feel after ejaculating. That comes because of the sudden decrease in your sexual tension. The stronger the tension is beforehand, the greater the feeling of relief. It doesn’t depend directly on how often you ejaculate, merely on the strength of your urge to ejaculate, and that will depend on how full your seminal vesicles get.
Question:
Thanks for your informative answer! I don’t look at porn and stuff, but I do have a strong fear of being addicted to masturbation.
I also have another question. Sometimes it feels like I just randomly get sexually stimulated for no reason, like when I’m sitting in school or when I am riding the bus. I assume this might be because my pants or underwear are too tight because it never happens when I am sitting on the toilet. At first, this freaked me out, but after a while, I realized that this never led to ejaculation, and it doesn’t bother me too much. Is this normal?
Also, this is what I meant by feeling satisfied. About three months ago, I got into the habit of masturbation, and one day I masturbated and a few minutes later the urge was back, just as strong. After that, I was able to quit, but it was very hard and I basically did nothing for a few days because I was so scared of falling into lust, which is why I’m afraid of being addicted to masturbation, and that I won’t feel satisfied.
Answer:
I’m glad you are aware of the seductive nature of sin. It is because we are caught up in pleasure that we forget to watch out for sinful behavior. Instead, we focus on the pleasure, wanting more of it no matter how we get it. The wicked are described as “lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God” (II Timothy 3:4).
Sexual pleasure is particularly alluring, not only because it is new to you, but also because of its intensity and the impact it has on the way we think. It is very easy to find yourself thinking of nothing but wanting to ejaculate again. So I commend you that you are practicing self-control in this matter. Pay attention to why you want to ejaculate: is it because your body needs to release semen or is it because you just want to experience orgasm again. The later is the pathway to lust.
What you experience on the bus is called spontaneous erections. Your body trying to learn when you need to have erections and early on it tries too often. It will get worse for a period of time and eventually will settle down — usually by the time you are seventeen or eighteen.
When you are on the bus, it vibrates. Your body responds to having not only your penis shaken, but also one of your internal glands called the prostate gland, which is inside your pelvis region. Your body hasn’t learned the difference between being bounced, and getting tense from sexual excitement. It responds with an erection, which just makes you all that more sensitive to movement. There isn’t much you can do, but try to relax, think of other things. Meanwhile, keep your books or our backpack on your lap to hide what is going on.