Question:
If lawful intimacy isn’t sinful, then why can’t a Christian look forward to it or think about it as someone unmarried? I agree that intimacy shouldn’t be the only thing a Christian looks forward to in marriage, since having God at the center of the marriage is far more important. However, it isn’t wrong to see intimacy as one of the blessings to look forward to in marriage. An unmarried Christian knows that thoughts of fornication are sinful, but if they think of lawful intimacy, would that still be sinful?
Answer:
There is nothing wrong with thinking about getting married one day and enjoying the benefits of marriage — including sex. However, if you are daydreaming of having sex with a particular girl, that is dangerous because there is no guarantee that you will actually marry that girl. Also, daydreaming about the details of how you will have sex is dangerous because you haven’t experienced it yet, so what you might imagine it to be like is likely to be wrong. You don’t want to set unrealistic expectations for yourself.