Is masturbating a selfish act?

Last updated on September 26, 2020

Question:

I have doubts about masturbation because in the past I have confessed it to a priest and he explained to me why it’s a sin. He said that “it’s a selfish act” and having sex should be shared with a woman in marriage. For many years I have done it without lustful thoughts. As you’ve said, masturbation itself is not a sin. It is because of lustful thoughts and pornography that it becomes a sin. What can you say about this?

Thank you.

Answer:

Yes, Roman Catholics have declared the masturbation is sinful; yet, it was done without biblical reasons. Their reasoning is based on their traditions.

Calling masturbation a selfish act would only be true if a man was using masturbation to avoid having sex with his wife. There isn’t a limit to the number of times a man ejaculates in a lifetime; therefore, to say that a teenager is taking something away from his future wife by ejaculating is false.  It would be equivalent to saying that kissing your mother takes away from the pleasure of kissing your wife.

The simple fact is that boys need to ejaculate and some are not able to have wet dreams to take care of the need. As you notice when you try to not ejaculate for a period of time, the desire for sex rises to the point that you feel you are going crazy.  Since you’ve learned to relieve yourself without using sinful things, the logical conclusion is that you are not sinning. It is silly to declare that taking care of a bodily need is selfish.

Response:

Thank you, Mr. Hamilton, for the quick response.

What you’ve said, “As you notice when you try to not ejaculate for a period of time, the desire for sex rises to the point that you feel you are going crazy,” was absolutely 100% true. It sounds funny, but I admit it. This act of pleasure makes me relax every time I’m stressed. I’m used to doing it without the sinful thoughts.

Thank you very much, Mr. Hamilton.