Last updated on September 7, 2024
Question:
Hello minister.
I have been struggling with homosexual thoughts and found that capturing thoughts like what Paul said is extremely helpful. Recently, I have been thinking about it less and less. I decided to pray that the way I am attracted would be channeled into women instead. Now, this was a pretty challenging task when I first thought about it.
Here something’s I found:
- Masturbation helps take the sexual desire down a notch. You told me about the nature of the male body and how it acts.
- You can reprogram your brain by looking at attractive women. At first, you might think, “Wait, that is coveting!” I said this because of how the brain works and builds bonds quickly to things; it releases dopamine, too, so I found some sub-solutions to make my brain work differently.
- (Risky) Think about marriage and how good it’ll feel once you are married to a woman when masturbating. This is not a sexual fantasy but rather an imagining of the pleasures of marriage and how sex will feel then.
- (Slightly less risky) Look at attractive women and take time out of your day to do this; I’m not saying coveting, but more like staring at the woman’s face and analyzing the woman herself.
- (Relatively safe) Looking at shows or media with many women in it. I mean, like any media, whether anime or live-action. Now, the problem is keeping your eyes respectful.
- (Super safe) Pray multiple times a day, go to sleep earlier, exercise, and keep yourself occupied. Best of all, capture thoughts. This is the best one. Not only does it subside lustful thoughts, but it can also decrease them.
These are the possible solutions I found. I want you to maybe look through or propose better ideas.
Here’s what I do: Pray, keep my eyes respectful, and try not to look at anyone lustfully. I capture thoughts and try not to worry too much as I occupy myself. On the side, I relieve myself to keep it down.
Answer:
It’s good to hear that you are doing better. There is always a danger of replacing one sin with another. Job said, “I have made a covenant with my eyes; how then could I gaze at a virgin?” (Job 31:1). Like capturing your thoughts, you have to be disciplined. It is fine to acknowledge that a woman looks pretty, but marriage and sex are not about looks. “Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the LORD, she shall be praised” (Proverbs 31:30). When you find a young woman who becomes your close friend, you’ll find that sexual attraction follows your interest in her.