Last updated on October 3, 2020
Question:
I have a problem. It’s related to my parents. I’m 16 and they still treat me like a kid. I know this is a common thing every teenager faces. I’ve tried being nice to them when they crack boring jokes and talk in a ‘childish’ way. I’m tired of being nice, and I just can’t take it anymore. My brother responds in an angry way, and it just puts them off. I know they love me a lot and they worry about me all the time, but it’s just too much. My dad embarrasses me in public and my mom talks in a weird way. I don’t know what to do.
Answer:
You will always be a child to your parents. I remember talking to my mother when I had a cold, and she started telling me I needed to see a doctor, etc. “Mom, I’m fifty years old. I think I know when I need to see the doctor.” The problem is parents remember you when you were young and they have a hard time adjusting as you mature. It calms down once you are out on your own, but even then you will find that they sometimes forget and you have to gently remind them that you are older now.
But a part of the problem is also that your mind is changing. You don’t see the world the same way as you did when you were a child. During that transition phase, you temporarily lose the ability to detect subtle clues given by facial expressions and body language. The result is that you tend to take things to extremes. To a teenager, a statement expressing annoyance may appear to be yelling in extreme anger when it really is not.
Between you and your parents, there are numerous miscommunications going on. Just roll with the punches. Remind yourself that your parents love you and are trying hard — maybe too hard. Meanwhile, keep a tight reign on your temper. It just isn’t worth getting angry about this.