Last updated on August 28, 2020
Question:
Hi,
I wanted to know the reason why having sexual fantasies is wrong. I’m not referring to the kind of sexual fantasies you have of yourself with someone else; I mean like if you had sexual fantasies of two beings that are non-existent. This sounds creepy and weird, but I really do want to know. If you don’t stare at anyone with lust, or feel lustful for anything, but then yet you have sexual fantasies in that sense, I think it should be wrong, but I want to know why.
Thank you all so much.
Answer
“And He said, “What comes out of a man, that defiles a man. For from within, out of the heart of men, proceed evil thoughts, adulteries, fornications, murders, “thefts, covetousness, wickedness, deceit, lewdness, an evil eye, blasphemy, pride, foolishness. All these evil things come from within and defile a man”” (Mark 7:20-23).
One problem with fantasies is that it sets up expectations within a person of what sex ought to be like, yet the imagination isn’t limited, so, therefore, unreasonable expectations are created.
A second problem is the moral situation that is being considered. Whether we are talking about watching a movie, listening to a song, reading a book, or playing out a scene in your imagination, repeated exposure and acceptance of immoral situations causes you to train yourself to consider and possibly act out when you face a similar situation personally. The core of the problem is our moral training. We constantly learn, but if we teach ourselves what is wrong, we start picking up making wrong decisions. Hang around a liar, you start being less than truthful. Hang around an angry person, we start reacting in anger.
“Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy–meditate on these things” (Philippians 4:8).