Last updated on September 20, 2020
Good day to you,
I have a question. For around 3 and a half months I refrained from masturbating until I got to a point where I couldn’t take it anymore and masturbated. The first time I did it, I didn’t feel bad about it, and I really felt I released myself. However, a few days later after the first time, I don’t know what happened. It seemed as though I just needed to masturbate again. I don’t know what happened! Did I need to release myself or did it just for the joy of it? Yet, I ended up masturbating the following day just because I started reading about masturbation again. What’s happening with me? Guilt is starting trying to take hold of me. What’s up? I’m lost and I need help.
Each ejaculation does not empty the seminal vesicles where your semen is produced. You held off ejaculating for a very long time, so your seminal vesicles were stretched to their capacity. Your first ejaculation brought tremendous relief because the seminal vesicles were no longer over full. However, they are both were tender from being overstretched and still near full. That is why it wasn’t all that long before you felt the need to ejaculate again.
There is nothing sinful about ejaculating. Sin comes when you use pornography or lust to stimulate yourself to the point of ejaculating (I Thessalonians 4:3-5). The guilt is more triggered by you deciding that masturbating is wrong, though there is a physical element to the guilt as well. See: Why do I feel guilty after ejaculating?