A priest touched me inappropriately. What should I do?

Last updated on August 2, 2020

Question

Hi,

A few weeks ago I went to Sunday mass and a priest asked me to go into the room with him. I obliged, but then he proceeded to touch me in places where I didn’t want him to touch me. However, I knew that is what God wanted, so I let it happen. I have no attraction to other men. Now I’m afraid that I am a sinner. What should I do? 

Answer

First, there are sinners in all walks of life — even among church leaders. As Paul warned the elders at Ephesus, “I know that after my departure savage wolves will come in among you, not sparing the flock; and from among your own selves men will arise, speaking perverse things, to draw away the disciples after them. Therefore be on the alert, remembering that night and day for a period of three years I did not cease to admonish each one with tears” (Acts 20:29-31).

What the priest did was wrong. Without knowing exactly what happened, I suspect that it was an act of homosexuality. I’m assuming that you are a minor, so this makes his sin particularly bad. “Whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in Me to stumble, it would be better for him to have a heavy millstone hung around his neck, and to be drowned in the depth of the sea” (Matthew 18:6). You were trusting him because he is a leader in your religion, but he abused your trust. Speaking of such corrupt teachers, Peter said, “For speaking out arrogant words of vanity they entice by fleshly desires, by sensuality, those who barely escape from the ones who live in error, promising them freedom while they themselves are slaves of corruption; for by what a man is overcome, by this he is enslaved” (II Peter 2:18-19).

One of the common tactics these corrupt men use is to divert blame from themselves. Hence, he made you believe that God wanted him to violate God’s laws, which could never happen. Further, he is trying to get you to believe that it is your fault and that you committed the sin.

Here is what you need to do. It will be difficult and you may feel embarrassed at times, but it needs to be done so that this evil man is exposed. “Do not participate in the unfruitful deeds of darkness, but instead even expose them; for it is disgraceful even to speak of the things which are done by them in secret” (Ephesians 5:11-12).

  • Absolutely refuse to ever be alone with this priest.
  • Tell your parents exactly what happened.
  • Tell your local police what the priest did.
  • Tell your school counselor what the priest did.
  • Send a letter to whoever is above the priest and tell them what he did.
  • If no one does anything, then make sure all your friends who go to the same church know what he did to you. In warning them, perhaps they won’t be caught in the same situation. You might also find out that this priest has done it to your friends, but they have been too embarrassed to say anything. Generally, once someone speaks out, others gain the courage to speak out as well.