Last updated on October 11, 2020
Question:
I am in a tough situation. Recently, I turned 14 and masturbated for the first time. I kind of accidentally did it while looking at porn, and I didn’t really enjoy it at all. I didn’t masturbate the next week, but when I was on vacation, I had a wet dream, and I had to change my underwear, which annoyed me because I am just entering my teenage years and haven’t really been educated about sex. So I searched online about how to prevent wet dreams, and it said to masturbate more frequently. I tried doing it for two nights before I went to bed, and lo and behold, the wet dreams stopped. However, I didn’t really feel that masturbating using porn was morally right, and as I suspected, it wasn’t. Sadly, the Internet had to be my sex education because I was never told anything but the basics by my father. Nothing besides sex itself, nothing about wet dreams or masturbation, or any of the things going on now that I am 14. So yes, I searched and then I realized how big of a sin it was to watch porn in the first place. It had never been a problem for me until I started producing semen.
The worst part is, tonight, the night after I had learned how bad it was and spent the entire day before regretting my actions, I did it again. The thing is, I didn’t use porn, but it was the same concept. I used magazines, which is essentially not any better. I realized the root of the problem was the porn itself, and following that, the wet dreams.
Now I feel like I am going to go to hell because I committed the same sin three times in a row. I don’t know how I am going to confess this to my priest. I want to quit all forms of porn, but the issue with that is that I really enjoy watching anime, which contains mild sexual references and sexually suggestive scenes. I have tried viewing a few series without looking upon it lustfully, and if I train myself to do that 100% of the time, I should be fine. Previously, I would have dirty thoughts about random strangers in public, which I have stopped almost completely now because of the whole lust thing. Now I am better to some degree, but I don’t know how to resolve this in the most Christian way (I am Catholic, I guess).
My age doesn’t give me a pass here, or the fact that I probably have a succubus demon attached to me. I really want to eliminate semen production permanently to stop the wet dreams, and the only way I know to do that is birth control, which there is no way I would take. I haven’t tried masturbating without porn, but I don’t really want to. I don’t want to masturbate, ever. I just want the wet dreams to stop. I don’t really enjoy masturbating or take pleasure from it. I just want to empty my system so I don’t ruin my underwear.
Plus, I have a pretty bad sailor’s mouth. I just feel like I’m going to go to hell. Besides that, I am a decent Christain. I regularly attend mass, but I didn’t go last week because I was traveling with family.
I need help on what to do. I never really watched porn before I started producing semen, with the exception of threes years ago when I quit because I was simply disinterested. Ironically, I never want to get married either.
Answer:
You bring up all sorts of issues and I will try to address most of them. But first, please understand that I am not a Catholic. I am a plain and simple Christian, so my answers will be based on the Bible.
Males gain the ability to ejaculate semen sometime during their teenage years. Usually, it starts just before or just after your growth spurt. That ability stays with you for the rest of your life. There is no way to turn it off, nor would you want to have it stop because it would harm your health. While there are companies experimenting with male birth control pills, they try to stop a man from producing viable sperm. They don’t stop a man from producing semen. See: How do I stop wet dreams and the urge to have sex? and I can’t stop masturbating in my sleep for more details on why you have wet dreams.
Neither wet dreams nor masturbating, by itself, are sinful. However, you can use masturbating in a sinful manner by using pornography or similar things to generate a lust for sex outside of marriage in yourself.
Semen doesn’t ruin your underwear. It does create a mess, but all you need to do is remove the soiled underwear, wash up with a damp cloth, and put clean underwear on. The soiled underwear can be rinsed out and then put in the wash.
The idea of a succubus is imaginary. See: Are incubus and succubus real?
Trying to train yourself to ignore sin won’t work. Sin is always progressive, so while you might full yourself initially that it isn’t affecting you, it does. It will build until you have to face the fact that you’ve lost control once again. The way to deal with sin is to avoid it. “Do not enter the path of the wicked and do not proceed in the way of evil men. Avoid it, do not pass by it; turn away from it and pass on” (Proverbs 4:14-15). There is anime that does not have sexually suggestive material. Stick to those.
Just as you have control over what you do with your body, you also have control over what comes out of your mouth. The tongue is harder to control (see James 3), but it is not impossible. You have to be willing to work at it. See: