Question:
Hello,
I’m 18 years old. This is an area I’ve struggled with for a while, and I’ve been trying to think through it biblically rather than just relying on my own feelings or assumptions.
I agree with your position that masturbation, based on the bible, itself is not necessarily sinful, but that things commonly associated with it—such as pornography or lustful fantasizing—can be.
My question is about where we draw the line regarding the pursuit of pleasure itself. If a person avoids pornography, lustful thoughts, and other clearly sinful behaviors, are there biblical principles that help determine whether they are pursuing sexual pleasure in a healthy way or an unhealthy way?
Part of what I’m struggling with is that intentionally maximizing pleasure can seem spiritually questionable to me, but I’m not sure what biblical basis I would use to say it is sinful. Sometimes it feels like chasing pleasure for its own sake can’t be right, but I don’t know where Scripture would draw that conclusion or where the line would be drawn in practice.
Is the pursuit of pleasure itself ever the issue, or does sin enter only when pleasure becomes controlling, idolatrous, selfish, or disconnected from God’s design? How would you apply biblical principles to determine where that line is?
Thank you for taking the time to read this and for any guidance you can provide.
Answer:
Satan is out to sell sin, and he uses our desires to make sin look appealing. “But each one is tempted when he is drawn away by his own desires and enticed. Then, when desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, brings forth death. Do not be deceived, my beloved brethren” (James 1:14-16). Personal pleasures can be so distracting that we forget to consider whether what we want to do is actually good or bad. Satan distracts us with pleasures so often that it is easy to just assume that if something is fun, then there must be something wrong.
God built our bodies to feel pleasure, encouraging us to do the things necessary for life. We have to eat and drink, so when we do, there is a feeling of satisfaction. We need to have children for the next generation, so with sex comes a feeling of pleasure. But just because something is pleasurable doesn’t mean we can do it whenever we feel like it or in any manner. We get pleasure from eating, but if we eat all the time, we get fat. If we eat junk food constantly, we lose our health. If we drink products with alcohol in them, we don’t think reasonably and eventually harm ourselves.
The same thing happens with ejaculating. If we start chasing the pleasurable feelings that come with ejaculating, we start making bad choices. Some start looking at pornography because it makes them sexually excited and more likely to ejaculate. Others start fooling around with sex long before they are ready to get married. Each of these involves bad moral choices, but the boys don’t think about it because they are focused on wanting pleasure.
When you are doing something that is not wrong, there is nothing wrong with enjoying what you are doing. “So I commended pleasure, for there is nothing good for a man under the sun except to eat and to drink and to be merry, and this will stand by him in his toils throughout the days of his life which God has given him under the sun” (Ecclesiastes 8:15). It is perfectly fine to enjoy your supper. It is fine to enjoy a cool glass of water after running around outside.
Decisions about right and wrong must start with what God said. When pleasure becomes your focus, you’re going to make mistakes, and many of those mistakes will harm your life.