Last updated on September 25, 2020
Question:
I am a young man of about 20 years and have been well taught in the church. I have been abstaining from sin, particularly drinking and fornication. But due to my being idle for about six months, I started having great urges to give in to sexual desires. I have been trying to abstain, until last week when I strolled to a brothel. Although I have been going there for a while now, I had only been visiting out of boredom and have been abstaining from patronizing a prostitute. But on this unlucky day, I got there and was approached by a prostitute who took me to her room and started romancing me. I resisted but it wasn’t long before I started caressing her back. Later she pulled my trousers down and started touching my penis. Before I realized that we were going too far, I was already cumming. I immediately jumped up and wanted to leave the room. She asked for her money. I was surprised because we had not even negotiated the price or ever had sex at all. Funny enough, I had no money on me except for some change. She called one of her colleagues who later called in a bouncer (security) after I refused to produce my money. I was stripped of my wristwatch and mobile phone and was told to go look for money in other to collect my seized items. Thank God I had my wallet. I ran to the bank to dispense money in other to collect my items back. I felt ashamed of myself because I had determined never to patronize a prostitute. I feel so terrible and hurt by my mistake. God help me.
Answer
You remind me of the young man in Proverbs 7, whom Solomon called, “And I saw among the naive, and discerned among the youths a young man lacking sense” (Proverbs 7:7). He said this because the young man went where prostitutes were known to be at and unsurprisingly he got caught.
You made the same mistake. If you had truly wanted not to commit fornication, you don’t hang around a place dedicated to doing fornication for pay. “Test all things; hold fast what is good. Abstain from every form of evil” (I Thessalonians 5:21-22). Boredom is no excuse for trying to get close to sin. So while you claim you did not want to patronize a prostitute, your actions tell a different story. Your actions are closer to the truth.
When the prostitute invited you back to her rooms, you knew what she was offering. You claimed you resisted, but you stayed in the room. You responded to her advances and did not prevent her from pulling down your pants. Again, your words and your actions do not match.
You claimed to be surprised that she demanded payment, even though she did what prostitutes do — get a guy sexually aroused to the point of ejaculation. And no, God wasn’t there helping you paid for the prostitute’s “service.”
Yes, you should feel bad because you did not use your head. You allowed your body to overrule your reason and you sinned as a result. Feeling bad is the proper response to sin if it drives you to change for the better. “Now I rejoice, not that you were made sorry, but that your sorrow led to repentance. For you were made sorry in a godly manner, that you might suffer loss from us in nothing. For godly sorrow produces repentance leading to salvation, not to be regretted; but the sorrow of the world produces death. For observe this very thing, that you sorrowed in a godly manner: What diligence it produced in you, what clearing of yourselves, what indignation, what fear, what vehement desire, what zeal, what vindication! In all things you proved yourselves to be clear in this matter” (II Corinthians 7:9-11).
I would like you to read all of Proverbs 7 in detail. If you have any questions, write to me. As a safety precaution, get yourself checked for any STD’s. I don’t know how far you have gotten on the path to salvation, so I would like you to read What Must I Do to be Saved? If you find things missing, correct them by following God more fully.
And no more hanging around brothels when you are bored!