Did I sin because I got erect when I kissed a girl?

Last updated on January 5, 2022

Question:

Hello,

I had a question about impure thoughts. I had my first kiss recently, and this was a big deal to me. What happened was that I replayed the moment where it happened in my head a few times. My issue comes into the part where I got erect during this. At the time, I didn’t have any guilt about this being a sin, but a few days later I did. What are your thoughts about this? Is it something I must confess?

Lastly, I am scrupulous when it comes to sin, and I am also very anxious when it comes to sin, so I may be completely wrong on this, but to me, it’s better to ask anyway.

Your response is greatly appreciated.

Thanks.

Answer:

Kissing a girl, especially the first time, can be very exciting. When you get excited or nervous, it isn’t usual for a young man’s body to respond with an erection. An erection doesn’t indicate that you were thinking of committing a sin. It only hints that you found the situation arousing.

Being aroused means you need to be cautious. It is hard for people to think clearly when they are sexually aroused. You can’t trust your feelings during those times. But again, it doesn’t directly mean you sinned.

What I noted is that you didn’t state anything about what your thoughts were at the moment. I suspect that you don’t have much in the way of memories beyond how good it felt. Impure thoughts are thinking about committing a sin. A passing thought that you could sin is a temptation. You are not sinning when you are being tempted. It only means you are aware that sin could take place. Lust occurs when you accept the temptation and try to think of ways to actually commit the sin. Sin is when you do what is wrong.

From what you described, you were aroused by the kiss. You might have been tempted to sin, but it doesn’t sound like it went any further.

Question:

Thank you for your response.

I saw that you weren’t sure about the thoughts going on at the time. The thought or replay of events was random, and it was nothing more than just the way the kiss went down, nothing less.

I had another question. How would you recommend controlling these feelings? Also, I want to hang out with this girl, but I tend to get aroused when I hang out with her. I try to ignore those feelings, and it helps but I’m not sure how to show her that I care about her without possibly getting aroused.  

Any advice?

Thank you.

Answer:

The longer you are with a girl, the less often you will be aroused. Things will calm down if you give it time.

What you don’t want to do is confuse those sexual feelings with how much you like her or how much she likes you. Being aroused is a strong feeling, but it isn’t love. Thus, focus on getting to know her as a person. Find out her likes and dislikes. Find out about her dreams for the future. In these ways, you show a girl that you really care about her beyond mere physical attraction.