Last updated on November 17, 2025
Question:
Good evening.
It’s been a long time since I last wrote. A lot has happened in my life this year, as you know, since you’ve been a part of it. I hope you’re doing well. Since I last wrote, I’ve been going through a lot.
Anyway, I’m still in the process of reconciling with my sexuality and my body; I think I’m making progress 🥹. Without a doubt, God has been good.
I occasionally read your site, looking for advice. I was reading one of your replies, and I found “Your website helped me realize that I wasn’t turning into a sex addict” quite interesting. There, you mention that the boy hadn’t yet reached his peak sexual desire and that this usually happens between 18 and 25. Interestingly, I’m 18 years old, and I’ve encountered many surprises this year since starting university, which meant leaving my small-town environment behind. Something happened that had only happened about three times before in my life: I was completely taken aback and paralyzed by the beauty of women. You know, I’ve always considered myself to have a low libido, but not this year.
In fact, this year I’ve felt that my sexuality has been very unstable and dormant, and I was wondering if that had anything to do with it, because I’ve truly met many beautiful women and felt captivated by them, but honestly, and I’m not trying to pretend I’m a saint, I’ve rarely been attracted to women. This is also why I’ve seldom voluntarily exposed myself to erotic content after becoming a Christian.
You know, I’ve also been reading a lot about sexual identity and sexual orientation, which I found confusing. I was reading that certain people may have biological predispositions that influence whether or not they identify as homosexual. Is that true? Could you elaborate on this? It doesn’t say that one is born homosexual, but rather that there can be predispositions.
Anyway, regarding masturbation, well, I’m trying to improve as much as I can.
It’s a pleasure to write to you again, and I hope you are well. God bless you.
Answer:
Thank you for asking. I am well.
As your body matures, it is normal for your sex drive to become stronger. It can be erradic during the early years because your testosterone levels are bouncing around, and your body hasn’t found a stable point. It is natural to have an interest in women because that is how God designed the male body.
It is always preferable to avoid lust and sins because you are committed to following God. If you only avoid such because you have not been interested up to this point, your sex drive will catch you off-guard when it suddenly swings into full strength. You need a purpose beyond yourself to remain righteous.
There is a lot of bad information about homosexuality on the Internet. Most of it is conflicting because it is not based on truth but on what people wish to believe. “For the time will come when they will not endure sound doctrine; but wanting to have their ears tickled, they will accumulate for themselves teachers in accordance to their own desires, and will turn away their ears from the truth and will turn aside to myths” (II Timothy 4:3-4).
For the last 50 years or so, people have been trying to justify homosexuality. They have tried to claim it is caused by the environment, by how a person was raised, or by their genetics. Each hypothesis has been discredited. See:
- No “Gay” Gene According to the American Psychological Association
- Study of Identical Twins Shows Homosexuality Is Not Genetic
- No Evidence People Are Born Gay or Transgender
- Genetic Links to Homosexuality?
Claiming that a genetic cause for homosexuality would be unpopular and limit a researcher’s funding for future studies. Thus, many of these studies leave themselves some wiggle-room by stating that there might be a genetic tendency toward homosexuality. No one has proven that such a tendency exists. There have been a few claims, but the studies have been proven flawed or cannot be replicated.
What is being purposely ignored is that homosexuality is a choice made by individuals. People don’t want to accept that answer because a choice can be changed, and people want to believe that homosexuality can’t be changed — even though evidence exists that it can be changed.
Response:
Good evening.
Thank you so much for replying to my message. I’ve been eagerly awaiting your response! I’ve barely read your reply, and I already want to respond.
Thank you so much, Mr. Jeffrey. Yes, it’s as you say. Until recently, I don’t think I had any problems with lust, and that’s because I wasn’t very interested in women. But, to my surprise, now I am attracted to them.
I really appreciate your advice. God has certainly used you today. I want to avoid lust for God’s sake. I will maintain sexual purity for Him; He will be my greatest purpose.
You know, deep down, I’m delighted that I’m starting to like women, because as I mentioned before, I seriously doubted my own sexual orientation and found myself more interested in men and males. It’s one of those uncomfortable struggles for me, but realizing that I’m starting to like women has been a great relief. And yes, I’ve tried not to give in to lust, and I think I’ve succeeded. However, your advice has revitalized me, and I’m going to do it for God and out of love for Him and my neighbor.
I haven’t read the links you sent me yet, but I will. Thank you very much.