Question:
Hello,
I want to ask for your insight. I’m a young man in my early twenties. I obeyed the gospel of Christ about five years ago.
As I began learning more about the Bible and God, I developed a desire for marriage. I firmly believe in the words of Genesis, which state, “It is not good for man to be alone,” and that God made Adam a helpmate.
I’ve never been in a serious relationship. I’ve been on a few dates, but none of them transpired into anything. Mainly because the ladies I went out with didn’t agree with my Christian lifestyle. Recently, I’ve been considering finding someone who shares the same Christian values as I do. I would love to meet a girl like that, but there aren’t many in my area — not my age, anyway. There are no young ladies in my congregation of a similar age to me.
My brother was lucky. A few years ago, he met a lovely lady near his age at a neighboring church of Christ. They wound up getting married, and I’m so happy for him. She’s a very good person and a great mom to their children!
So here is my question. My brother’s wife has a sister around my age. She is also a member of the church. She’s a very nice and beautiful young lady. I was wondering if it would be appropriate to be interested in her? We have lots in common and share the same Christian values. It was her birthday recently, so I sent her a text and wished her a happy birthday. She said thank you, and I replied, ‘You’re welcome,’ and the conversation ended there, although I was hoping we could talk a little bit.
Is it appropriate to pursue her as a potential partner? If so, how would I proceed?
Thank you in advance, and I’m excited for your response! I apologize for the lengthy email!
Answer:
There is nothing wrong with two brothers marrying two sisters in another family. Some rules forbid relationships with people who are related to you by blood, but this isn’t one of those situations.
The best way to start is simply asking the young woman if she is open to going out for dinner with you. This provides a specific plan, giving you both a chance to get to know each other better. If she is interested, ask her what date would work best for her and inquire about her preferred food choices.
Keep in mind that dating is a time for two people to decide if they like each other. While you are initiating the process, you won’t have complete control over the matter. She is deciding if she likes you while you are deciding if you like her.
Most guys defeat themselves before they start because they lack the nerve to ask. The worst that could happen is that she tells you she is already seeing another man or that she isn’t interested. While it would hurt a bit, at least you will know not to waste your time dreaming about something that won’t happen.