Last updated on August 19, 2020
Question:
I fingered my girlfriend. Before I fingered her I “adjusted myself”. I touched my penis and it may have had pre-cum on it. I’m not sure how long afterward that I fingered her. I do know that I did not have wet hands when I fingered her and that I didn’t go directly from my penis to her vagina. She has two days left to get her period and she still hasn’t. She and I are freaking out that she may be pregnant. She says that she usually has an irregular period, but she’s still nervous she’s pregnant. What are the chances? What should I do? I’m freaking out here.
Answer:
No one can say the odds are zero. But the possibility is extremely low — almost zero. The reason it can’t be ruled out is that pre-ejaculate (pre-cum) can contain sperm, though it has very little present. There is a higher chance of transferring a disease in this particular case than pregnancy occurring.
But what I can tell you is that you are in sin. What you and your girlfriend are doing is a part of foreplay in sex. Thus you are committing fornication even though you haven’t yet gone so far as to put your penis in her vagina. Paul pointed out, “It is good for a man not to touch a woman” (I Corinthians 7:1). He is not talking about holding hands. He is talking about the things you and your girlfriend are doing. You are arousing sexual passion between the two of you — a lust for sexual intercourse — but you are not married. “Nevertheless, because of sexual immorality, let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband” (I Corinthians 7:2). Sexual touching is for the enjoyment of committed married couples because it eventually leads to sex, which eventually leads to children.
Notice that you are panicking over the possibility of a child being produced — but that is what sex was designed by God to cause. The fact that you are scared that it might happen is further evidence that you are not ready for marriage and fatherhood. You are trying to have fun, but you don’t want to think about the consequences. But this “fun” that only lasts a few moments is separating you from God. “Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived. Neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor homosexuals, nor sodomites, nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners will inherit the kingdom of God” (I Corinthians 6:9). You’re old enough to father children, isn’t it long past time to grow up and be morally responsible? You need to turn away from this sin and get yourself right with God.