Last updated on February 1, 2023
Question:
Hello,
I would like to talk about finding a spouse. Lately, I have been having really strong feelings about finding a godly female to start a relationship with and further that relationship so that one day we can enjoy marriage. I’m 19 so I know that I still have time but I’m feeling a little more lonely than usual. I’ve never had a girlfriend before but I have tried to. I’ve never gotten past the talking stage. I haven’t talked to tons of girls like some guys do but I have talked to a few. I know that Miss Perfect isn’t out there. Some men are so picky with women that they never settle down. I try my best not to be this way, I know that beauty will fade for everyone someday if we live long enough.
What I would like to ask is for some encouragement on finding a wife. I know that in order to get into a relationship, I have to put in the effort to get what I desire. God isn’t just going to snap His finger and put me into a relationship, not that He couldn’t. I’m sorry for the rant but I don’t really have anyone to talk to this about and it gets pent up sometimes. I really liked when you said in “Is it bad that I can’t wait to get married?” It really helped me understand that I need to stay on the straight and narrow. “If you are off-track, then now is the time to get back on track so your dreams are more likely to be fulfilled.”
Answer:
It is common for young men to feel lonely and what a companion. In a sense, it is built into us. “For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh” (Genesis 2:24). Emotionally, you are disconnecting from your parents and, thus, the drive to connect with someone else.
As you noted, you can’t let your emotions drive you. Your wife will be your companion for the rest of your life, so you need someone at your side who will help you be a better person and reach heaven with her. Take a look at the lesson “A Good Mate.” It contains a number of things you should consider in a spouse and ways you might check your observations.
When it comes to finding someone, you will have to broaden your search. The best place to find a good Christian wife is in a good church, so take to visiting places. Attend young adult retreats. If you have favorite hobbies, join a club. The more women you meet, the more likely you’ll find someone you get along well with.
Response:
Thank you for your feedback, I would like to ask you to pray for me that I would grow spiritually and stay on the straight and narrow. Please also say a prayer for me that I may find a godly woman who God would have me marry. I believe in the power of prayer, I know you don’t know me but I believe that the saints’ prayers avail much.