I’m having problems with a bully

Last updated on September 1, 2020


I’m having bullying issues. I have no idea what I did to him. One time he hurt me, and I was acting in self-defense — I think I slapped him. I told him it was an accident, and now he’s bent on either ruining my school life or corrupting my classmates to be his friends and not be my friends. He made up a guy he claims is a molester and corrupted most of the guys in my class. Now he comes up with gay stuff and is drunk on it. He does stuff behind my female teacher’s back that is so inappropriate that he should be expelled.


Defending yourself is not a bad thing when someone is hurting you. It probably was a mistake to say it was an accident because now he will think that you won’t defend yourself again.

In regards to friends, he doesn’t have control over who is friends with you. Oh, he’ll try, but what generally happens is that when people understand what he is like, he loses them. You just be a good guy and nice to everyone. People will tend to hang around people who make them feel good than a guy who is angry all the time.

The poor guy wants attention, so badly that he’ll even take negative attention. I feel sorry for him because he will end up making his life miserable.  The sexual topics are appealing to your classmates because it is novel and they know it is forbidden. You need to remember:

But fornication and all uncleanness or covetousness, let it not even be named among you, as is fitting for saints; neither filthiness, nor foolish talking, nor coarse jesting, which are not fitting, but rather giving of thanks. For this you know, that no fornicator, unclean person, nor covetous man, who is an idolater, has any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and God. Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of these things the wrath of God comes upon the sons of disobedience. Therefore do not be partakers with them” (Ephesians 5:3-7).

There is an interesting way to combat this. You ignore all the bad things he does and says. But when you see a chance to compliment him on something that he manages to do good, do it. He won’t know how to handle it because that isn’t how he treats others.

Repay no one evil for evil. Have regard for good things in the sight of all men. If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men. Beloved, do not avenge yourselves, but rather give place to wrath; for it is written, “Vengeance is Mine, I will repay,” says the Lord. Therefore “If your enemy is hungry, feed him; If he is thirsty, give him a drink; For in so doing you will heap coals of fire on his head.” Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good” (Romans 12:17-21).


Thank you, but everyone in eighth grade picks on me, trying to lead me into gay traps. Sometimes I fall for them because I don’t know they’re gay until later.


Likely most of your fellow students don’t really understand what is homosexual behavior either. You are at an age where anyone is different is picked on. Even if there isn’t a difference, something will be found to pick on anyway. It has been a while, but I remember those times and received similar taunts.

The thing to remember is that what they want is to get a reaction from you. They are trying to get you upset, embarrassed, or angry. They have the foolish notion that if they can manipulate your emotions then they control you. Thus, the best reaction is to treat their taunts as insignificant. You are your own self. You know you aren’t homosexual. Be polite to everyone, including the bullies. They’ll give up after a while because you won’t be any “fun” for them.