Last updated on October 1, 2020
Question:
I am a person who loves to do sports and activities like that. I also am a very musical person. Do you think I should try to find someone with those common interests or does it not matter? But not saying they must be exactly the same because I think differences in a relationship are good. Another example is that I’m not sure whether or not I should find someone who enjoys the same sort of everyday activities that I do. Stuff like snowboarding and longboarding and other stuff as well. But I might be wrong about everyday stuff.
There is this girl who I admittedly like, but I’m not entirely sure whether or not we have enough in common or if it matters. But she is a good Christian who I enjoy being around a lot. I’m a very musical person. I don’t know if she is and I don’t know if that matters.
Answer:
You’ll never find someone exactly like you, but you can find someone who is compatible with you. For example, you love music. She might not be good at playing music, but she might enjoy listening to you play or go to concerts with you. What might not work is someone who can’t stand music. You like sports. She might like different sports, or she might enjoy watching your games.
There ought to be some common interests — things you can do together — but it doesn’t mean that everything has to be the same.
But activities are just one piece of the puzzle. A bigger piece is your character and her character. For instance, “As a ring of gold in a swine’s snout, so is a lovely woman who lacks discretion” (Proverbs 11:22). It doesn’t matter how fancy of a gold ring you hang off the end of a pig’s nose, it won’t change the fact that it is still a pig. In the same way, it doesn’t matter how pretty a woman is if she doesn’t have good judgment. Beauty won’t make up for poor decisions. So think also in terms of being able to manage a household, coping under stress, being wise with finances, stable in her faith, etc.