Last updated on October 1, 2020
I have several problems. I showered with my cousin who is 13 and I am 14. We had great fun showering together and washed each other’s private areas too with our penises erect. Then I masturbated his penis and he took mine in his hands and did the same. We did this showering twice.
I have slept with my cousin naked and while sleeping, my hand was on his penis and his hand was on mine. We were playing. I never had sex, nor want to do so.
I don’t know what I am. I don’t want to do sex with a guy but what attracts me is the genitals of boys. I love to play with them and sometimes suck them (did one time). What should I do?
I watch gay porn rarely but only to see the penis of a male. I masturbate rarely, maybe one time in 3-4 months. What should I do? Is my feeling for male genitals is wrong? How can I come out of this and be normal?
Since the human body is not designed for men to have sex with men (Romans 1:26-27), homosexuals use substitutions: anal sex, oral sex, and mutual masturbation. Even though you may not have realized what you were doing, you were involved in acts of homosexuality with your cousin. You mutually masturbated each other and you had his penis in your mouth, which is oral sex.
Homosexuality is a sin that will keep you out of heaven. “Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived. Neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor homosexuals, nor sodomites, nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners will inherit the kingdom of God” (I Corinthians 6:9-10). Therefore, like any other sin, you have to give it up. You have to radically change. “For godly sorrow produces repentance leading to salvation, not to be regretted; but the sorrow of the world produces death. For observe this very thing, that you sorrowed in a godly manner: What diligence it produced in you, what clearing of yourselves, what indignation, what fear, what vehement desire, what zeal, what vindication! In all things you proved yourselves to be clear in this matter” (II Corinthians 7:10-11). You have to change your behavior, no longer doing homosexual acts, and you need to change your attitude regarding what you have been doing, no longer thinking of them as acceptable behavior. Then in following God’s teaching to be saved, you can be like the Corinthians. “And such were some of you. But you were washed, but you were sanctified, but you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus and by the Spirit of our God” (I Corinthians 6:11).
In the things you have been doing, you were focused on the short-term fun that playing with your genitals brings. Sure, it feels thrilling to have someone playing with your penis. It is exciting to orgasm and ejaculate. But there are long term consequences to what you are doing that are not fun. See: Don’t you dare change my mind, but why is homosexuality bad? for some examples.
Similarly, pornography is bad for you. See: Lies Pornography Tells Men. You cannot stop a sin while filling your mind with images of that sin. To stop sexual sins, you have to stop watching things that make sexual sins look acceptable.
What are you? You are a male. As a male, you find sexual touch, orgasms, and ejaculations thrilling because that is the way your body is made. Your body doesn’t care how who does these things, it is only focused on the result. However, God designed your body to have sex with your wife. Therefore, you need to stop using your body the wrong way and save your sexual desires for your wife.