Last updated on May 3, 2023
Question:
Hello,
I discovered your website last year and it has helped me out a lot. I hope you can understand my problems and will try to help me out.
Since the beginning of last year, I have been struggling with depression and anxiety. Every morning before school, I get extremely anxious about what will happen that day. Some days, I’ll get anxious pretty much every time I leave the house. It has caused a lot of issues in my life such as arguing, isolating myself in my room, intrusive thoughts, and more. I get bullied, and I think a lot about the things they say and do to me and it makes me feel worthless.
I have an issue with laziness, after getting home from school I usually just lay in bed and go on the laptop. Sometimes I forget to do homework due to my laziness. I am very behind in school. I have no motivation.
I’ve also been having an issue with porn and masturbation for a while. It all started when I was 9 years old and my friend showed me pornography. For about a year after that, I would frequently view pornography. I eventually stopped, but when I was about 11 almost 12, I started getting erections. This made me want to start looking at pornography again. Shortly after I started back up, I would masturbate every night. I remember I would feel guilty afterward, but it didn’t stop me from doing it again the next day. Around seven months later, I was masturbating and had my first ejaculation. This made me feel very guilty, and I stopped masturbating and viewing pornography for about two weeks. After I started again, I would still feel guilty every time I ejaculated, but I still continued viewing pornography and masturbating 1-2 times a day. I have tried to stop for years, but I can never go longer than 4 or 5 days without it. I feel ashamed of myself for this, and I feel that God is disappointed with me.
I’ve been thinking about when I was younger and happier and didn’t have all of these problems. I think of all my good memories, my old friends, and my old pets. Sometimes it makes me want to cry because I know I can’t go back.
My sleep schedule is really messed up, which I think contributes to some of my problems. Every night I get really paranoid and think that someone or something is watching me. This makes it difficult for me to fall asleep.
I feel that I am being punished for all of my bad actions and that things will not improve. I feel like I ruined my life and have disappointed God and everyone I know.
Please let me know what I can do about all of this. How can I manage my anxiety and depression? How can I stop my porn and masturbation habits? How can I move on?
Thank you so much for all of your help.
Answer:
It is not unusual for a teenager to stay up late and sleep late in the morning (or at least he wants to sleep late). The shift in your sleep schedule is due to your fluctuating hormones and your brain rewiring itself for adulthood.
What I need to know is if you are using marijuana. Both laziness and anxiety are known effects of this drug. It will also cause feelings of depression.
Assuming that you are not using marijuana or some other drug, then the answer is fairly straightforward — you need to get out and exercise. Make it a part of your schedule.
Pornography does have to stop because it warps your thinking about sex and makes you dependent on it. See I’m addicted to pornography and masturbation, but I don’t know how to stop.