I’m told that I’m freakishly strong for my age, but it seems that no matter how strong I get, my dad seems more powerful than I am. Why is this?

Last updated on August 20, 2020

Question:

I’m late into stage 4 of puberty or early 5 and I’m not even 17 years old yet. I’m told that I’m freakishly strong for my age, but it just seems no matter how much stronger I get, my dad seems more powerful than I am and can overpower me despite my being a decent amount bigger. Why is this? It makes me feel like I’m weak.

I’d like to turn professional next year in boxing once I turn 18, but I’d be fighting grown men who are even bigger than he is, and this makes me think that they’ll be too strong for me. I’m kind of confused here. I’d appreciate your help.

Answer:

There are limits to what I can tell you. I’m not a boxer, so I would not be a good judge of your abilities. And since we’ve never met I’m at more of a disadvantage. The Bible states:

Where there is no counsel, the people fall; but in the multitude of counselors there is safety” (Proverbs 11:14).

Without counsel, plans go awry, but in the multitude of counselors they are established” (Proverbs 15:22).

For by wise counsel you will wage your own war, and in a multitude of counselors there is safety” (Proverbs 24:6).

In other words, when you are uncertain you are better off getting as much advice as you can from many sources. It will be rare that they all agree, but what you should look for is not just the conclusion but why they reached their conclusion. You are educating yourself about how to decide your future. “He who walks with wise men will be wise, but the companion of fools will be destroyed” (Proverbs 13:20). Find multiple people involved in boxing, especially coaches. Talk to a sports doctor about your plans. Once you get a lot of feedback, then you will find the correct course of action will be clearer.

As far as your dad is concerned, you are trying to compare raw strength with experience. Experience (wisdom) often overcomes disadvantages.

A wise man scales the city of the mighty, and brings down the trusted stronghold” (Proverbs 21:22).

A wise man is strong, yes, a man of knowledge increases strength” (Proverbs 24:5).

Then I said: “Wisdom is better than strength. Nevertheless the poor man’s wisdom is despised, And his words are not heard” (Ecclesiastes 9:16).

Besides, at your stage of development, you are still developing muscle while your dad is fully developed. Eventually, the scales will shift to your favor, but in the meantime, you should seriously weigh the fact that if you go into professional boxing you will be facing stronger and more experienced opponents. No matter how good you get, someone will always come along who is better.

Question:

OK thanks, it made me wonder that “if I am so strong, why is it that I can’t seem to be stronger than my dad despite being bigger,” though now I know that strength isn’t everything.
 
Since it’s quite obvious that the scales have not yet shifted into my favor, how long should it take? Not just to be stronger than my dad, but to be a fully developed “man” is what I’m wondering. 

Answer:

You’ll be at your peak physical ability about a year after you each stage five. It will last about ten to twenty years, depending on how well you keep yourself in shape. Generally, by your mid-twenties, you will be out-doing your dad, but part of that is because your dad is also getting older and is on the downhill side. Eventually, even experience is not going to make up for his loss of strength.

Question:

Even after I reach step 5, is it still possible for me to get even stronger? It’s obvious that strength isn’t everything. It’s just that when or if I do decide to go professional, I want to be on even-terms in strength when compared to other people my weight because some of them will be in their mid 20’s or 30’s. I don’t want to feel like a boy going up against a man. If that makes sense.
 
Compared to my friends, who are my age, their strength cannot match mine or even close, even if they are about 30-35 pounds heavier. It’s just when I compare myself to older “men” that I seem weak even though I’m clearly not.

Answer:

One of the distinguishing marks of stage 4 of development is that you begin to build muscle mass. You can get strong before then, but after stage 4 you can start gaining larger muscles. This ability to build muscles will be with you through most of the rest of your life. When you get old it becomes harder to build muscle and it takes longer, but in your twenties and thirties you will find it relatively easy and quick to build muscle mass. You are only at the leading edge of building your muscles.

But it is the comparison to other boxers that I’m urging you to talk with a number of people in that field. I don’t have enough information to tell you how you will fare or to evaluate your potential with additional training.